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The Gallows Pole
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The Gallows Pole |
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN 
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A leaden pall hung in the heavens, smothering the seething hive of humanity below. Glass and steel teeth broke the horizon with a horrid gap-toothed grin. Pale light glowed from within the smoky haze of the city, offering a ghastly sheen to the city. It was a terrifying sight to my eyes as the van rumbled on the cracked concrete path. The city loomed up before me, its baleful eyes accusing me and laying my soul bare. I could not withstand that stare a moment longer, I cast my gaze about in search of something to alleviate my anxiety. Unfortunately my surroundings were not the kind that inspired in one feelings of comfort. Only a heavy steel grating near the roof broke the corrugated steel walls of the van. Through those apertures a bleak landscape of dusty earth and rotting hulks of trees stretched to the iron smear of the horizon. Dominating the entire northern horizon was the broken skeleton of the city. It was towards that looming smoke shrouded mass that the broken road led. The road was engulfed within the inky blackness of the city, and I feared I would be consumed much more easily than the road. It was there that the execution would take place. There was no other fate that would fit the nature of my crimes; crimes so heinous that I did not even have a chance to commit them. There was only one fate for a creature like me and that fate was a swift execution. As my mind pondered those dark thoughts the van had reached the darkling limits of the great city. The hulking steel vehicle ground to a halt and with machine precision ten uniformed City Agents removed the steel walls of the van and that my bonds were still tight to the pole in the center. As those preparations were finished they departed back to the pale light of guardhouses I could now see. The van rumbled back to life and proceeded onwards towards Gallows’ Square. Now with full sight of my surroundings I saw cunning eyes floating off the in the darkness of alleys, villains and survivors to crafty to be caught. I saw the crumbing apartment complexes seething like hives with people, glassy eyed and emaciated, living with little sustenance. It was these eyes that hurt me most for when they fell upon me their gazes burned with hate. They stooped and lifted stones and many a time my helpless form was struck by a sharp rock. Before we had traveled two minutes within the city, my form was streaked with crimson and one eye swollen shut. Yet the stones did not stop and neither did their curses, lifted with pale voices and accented with cold stone. “Demon! Hate spawn! Back to your maker!” rang their voices. And then they fell silent. The van had reached the Gallows’ Square, a dark patch of land lit only by the scarlet light of neon signs and a few pale rays of errant sunlight. The guards quickly took me from the van and had me on the gallows in moments. The noose was being fitted around my neck and the herald began to read the charges. “For the high crime of treason and espionage the convict will be hung, do all here see the evidence before their very eyes?” I heard a hushed chorus of “ayes” as the crowd saw the evidence swishing slightly. “Then may the prisoner be hung!”: The rope grew taut across the short fur of my throat and my ears fell flat against my skull. My tail whipped feverishly, and my slitted eyes snapped shut and a resounding crack was the last sound to fall upon my ears. [This message has been edited by Dusk Treader (edited 08-02-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Abrahm Simons - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I want to vote for this!!!! It's incredible!! I love it..I was entranced reading it.  |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Whew! There, I can relax now. Thanks for fixing it Abe! Voting (can I stuff this ballot box?) |
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Silkdragon Member
since 2000-06-24
Posts 65 |
great story abe! it was a little vague at first, but that's how things go for first person. great imagery, as usual, and a good moral lesson. one thing you might add is a little more of the creature's feelings. you describe what he sees and what's happening, but draw us in with what he's feeing, likely betrayal, anger, fear, hopelessness. Beyond that, great job!  erin |
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&dispose Junior Member
since 2000-01-30
Posts 18 |
Definitely an interesting story, reminds me of something that Fear Factory, or Iron Maiden (Hallowed be thy Name) would write. At any rate, it's quite interesting, it leaves out the beginning and the end of the story, leaving the reader to come up with some sort of "justification". Overall it was interesting, although short, once again, nice work. "I am not your savior, I am just as f****d as you." - Stabbing Westward &dispose |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
I agree with Sharon on this one Abe (stuffing ballot box here)  |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Very powerful! I loved the bleak scene, the dark and vivid imagery...I have one mistake I found though. "Pale light glowed from within the smoky hazy of the city, offering a ghastly sheen to the city." Shouldn't 'hazy' be 'haze'? Other than that lil thing, this was awesome! < !signature--> *Krista Knutson* "You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back." -Barbara DeAngelis [This message has been edited by Alwye (edited 07-31-2000).] |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Abe, great. Dark, demented, love it! *toward(no "s") toward(no "s") toward(no "s") |
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN |
Thank you all for your replies! Krista, I fixed that little mistake, and Chris, I'm working towards fixing yours < !signature-->Abrahm Simons "Keep on dreamin' boy 'cause when you stop dreaming it's time to die" - Blind Melon [This message has been edited by Dusk Treader (edited 08-03-2000).] |
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merlynh Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 411deer park, wa |
P.O.V. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Abrahm, This is an incredible piece of writing... regards, sudhir |
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AVANTI Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE |
So well written great imaginery Abe... I had to read 2ce too get the feel of it you as the begening confused me great use of words they are apt and they fall right there. |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Another wonderful tale from a prose-master! You have my vote!"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde "The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief" -Shakespea |
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Dawn Eclipse Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637The Horsehead Nebula |
Wow Abe! What a story! my only regret is that I didn't get around to reading it sooner than this! "The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper." Eden Phillpotts *Cassandra Roseen* |
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sweetcollege_girl Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872just about where I want to be |
Cool story, Abe! As Chris said...Dark, demented...though it may be, I still loved it!  stay cool  Lavada what are we voting for? whatever it is, consider this my ballot  "For every beauty, there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth, there is an ear somewhere to hear it For every love, there is a heart somewhere to receive it".--Ivan Panin |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
EXCELLENT piece of writing. I am new at prose so I have a long way to go but I do know a good one when I read one and you have gone way above that level indeed. Your talent shows well. |
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