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Little Drops of Heaven
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Little Drops of Heaven |
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN 
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As always, comments and critiques are appreciated, I hope you enjoy! The sunlight seeped through the canopy to fall on the needle-strewn floor in a pattern of dappled gold. Birds poured forth their hearts as they flitted among emerald clad boughs. Their boisterous tune was harmonized by the aquatic melody of a glittering brook. To my senses the scene melded into a beautiful whole. I reveled in every moment I spent within the forest. The forest gave me feeling of ease, it had the ambiance of a sanctuary. Towering bark columns and the joyous hymnal of an avian and liquid choir accentuated the feeling of a goddess-shaped cathedral. For myself the stream was enough to become lost within. I often found my thoughts drifting as I watched twinkling crystal flow by. A glass serpent that insinuated itself amid the trees that mesmerized me with myriad glittering eyes and a mercurial serenade. The time flew by quickly and before my mind could register the fact the gold seeped from the forest and the forest took on a somber air. The trees whispered behind green sleeves and groaned quietly. The birds had all grown quiet, and the forest felt deserted without their presence: even the stream felt hushed. The rain came then, sifting softly down through the trees, a soft spring rain. It fell upon me and before long I was thoroughly drenched. I began to walk the beaten path in the direction of home, but was stopped by a sound: a soft clear note that flowed up to me through the rhythm of the rain. I paused and forced my attentions outward. I heard the singer again, for now I knew it was indeed a voice, and began to force my way through the undergrowth towards it. I pushed aside a fern and stared at the tinkling length of stream before me. There standing in the cool water was a graceful form, she wore a crown of mahogany hair and birch silver clothing of a flowing style. She danced within the crystal waters, making nary a splash while the rain seemed to twist and enswathe her in a glimmering haze. She turned then and looked into my awestruck eyes. She smiled then, a brilliant smile that melted my knees. Before I could make a move though, she began to sing in her clear voice. The song bound me fast, wrapping me in cords of sound. I could feel its tendrils moving within me, touching my soul and warming me. The tendrils reached my heart, and caressed it tenderly, then withdrew slowly. The woman smiled her beguiling smile and laughed in silver chimes, then turned and disappeared into the greenery as if she were a tree herself. An unearthly silence descended upon the forest broken only by the patter of raindrops. I stood for quite a while in slack-jawed wonder before I began to sense my surroundings again. It was now I noticed that the ground was rippling with concentric rings when the rain came down. I realized then where I was, not in the real world, but in a dream. The forest shattered, melting into blackness, and yet I could still hear the rain. I opened my eyes with a disenchanted sigh that was quickly stifled. Silhouetted in the window was a feminine form, her hair gleaming gold in the lamplight. I walked over to her and slid my arm around her waist. She tilted back her head and as I was drowning in those emerald seas, I knew I was dreaming in reality. < !signature--> Abrahm Simons "Keep on dreamin' boy 'cause when you stop dreaming it's time to die" - Blind Melon [This message has been edited by Dusk Treader (edited 07-07-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Abrahm Simons - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
*awestruck and sighing* Oh my Abrahm...this is incredibly beautiful. I loved "A glass serpent that insinuated itself amid the trees that mesmerized me with myriad glittering eyes and a mercurial serenade." and every word of the first two paragraphs. Knowing the place you write of and seeing it with my own eyes, I know that your description is as gorgeous as the stream and it's surroundings themselves...I remember you telling me that your next story (this) is inspired by that place and my lil ol me...  Sweetheart, I don't even know what to say other than this is so gorgeous. I am breathless and blown away by it.  *stops a while to recover, then goes back to reread*Thank you for writing yet another wonderful piece of work. < !signature-->*Krista Knutson* "We are not seperate from spirit, we are in it." ~Plotinus~ [This message has been edited by Alwye (edited 07-07-2000).] |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
This was absolutely breath-taking, and such an incredibly beautiful ending Abrahm! In the midst of a hectic day, you've taken me away for a brief journey into another world ... I so needed that today! Thank you for this brilliant and peaceful sojourn ... Wonderful writing!Best wishes, /Kit |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Well m'friend, I'll not go all gushy like Ms. Krista there did, LOL. But I will say that you've nailed the imagery of a beautiful dream, both ethereal and realistically. I also liked the closing line. It relieved the pang of a lost dream and transferred it into a smile of fulfillment! Well done yet again prose master! Chris |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Abe, this is a beautiful piece! And you say you aren't a prose genius... I love the imagery, you paint such beautiful pictures with your words. You remind us that dreams aren't so distant and unreal... Great work, my friend. "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde "The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief" -Shakespea |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Stunning use of imagery! I loved the feel of this Abe..I'm a sucker for the forest and for rain! A lovely dream come true!  |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
Beautiful......mystical......enchanting..... but after living in a rain forest, I find it has just the right ammount of reality blended in. What a wonderful piece of work... makes me want for more..... Looking forward to the next..... The arts wash away from the soul...the dust of everyday life-----Picasso |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Lovely, Dusk Treader!! Love and hugs, Lizzie  "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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Silkdragon Member
since 2000-06-24
Posts 65 |
Very well done, Abe. I don't know.... You use descriptive wording better than me, I think.... *frowns jealously* LOL Heather thinks it was very beautiful, and she likes rain. LOL Of course, we knew who you were talking about and were muttering a bit.... j/k  Very well written, Abe-of-Rum, as always... Well done! Erin and Heather |
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Tim Gouldthorp Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 170 |
The bit i liked best was your description of the way the forrest changed from brightness to quietness and the rain. You really gave a vivid description of the forrest, reallly made it come alive. Just a suggestion, but i would prefer it if the vision of the forrest and the lady was not explicitly compared to a dream. -Tim |
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toes21 Junior Member
since 2000-07-09
Posts 24 |
Your poem runs deep and is very well written. |
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AVANTI Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE |
"i knew i was dreaming in reality" very well written so complete and still something left behind...lovely great work! If all was light...then I would have never learnt the dark...from which such truth evolves from which evolves the light... Avanti Rao |
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Dawn Eclipse Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637The Horsehead Nebula |
Hey Abe! Wow! THis was wonderful.... so full of images.. my senses went overboard! Sorry it took so long for me to find it.. But it was wonderful! "The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper." Eden Phillpotts *Cassandra Roseen* |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Excellant, I felt as if I was there. |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Abe, once more you paint a beautiful picture with your words. An outstanding use of imagery and such a lovely story. Leaving me in awe as always. |
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