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The Comfort of Tea"...first post and challenge, concurrently
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The Comfort of Tea"...first post and challenge, concurrently |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
"The Comfort of Tea" There was a shabbiness about the man that made me comfortable. In my comfort, I noticed things. It was not that he was unkempt. No, far from that. In fact, his eyes were the cleanest, brightest green that I could recall ever seeing on a human face. His hair, likely combed earlier in the day, now rested, rather scrambled, in small, soft folds upon his head. It was nearly golden, the colour of molten sorghum dripping, hot, down the long cooking trays of my father's mill. I was still noticing his molasses hair when I realized that his eyes were searching my face, his hand extended in greeting. "Claire?" he asked, more by way of saying hello than identifying me. "Yes, hello Michael. We spoke on the phone, didn't we?" Of course, I knew that he knew that we had spoken, just that morning in fact, but what was one to say? "Come in. Please, just ~ here, let me take those from you." And I was in his house, following him through the coolness into the large dining room. He walked slowly, talking, one arm cradling the maps that I had brought. A radio played somewhere, and I noticed the jingling sound of jazz tinkering through the open kitchen doorway. Piano in the early afternoon. This was a man I could get to like, I remember thinking. "I've just put a kettle on, if you'd like, " he was saying. Funny how his voice sounded softer now, like Keith Jarrett's improv from the kitchen. Musical, light, English. "Oh. Tea. I really can't." I noticed the immediate crook in his brow, just a moment's sleight, then gone. "I've got an appointment. Another appointment, actually." I knew I was expected at a meeting shortly, though the exact details were not ready in my mind. I noticed his hands, fingers still spread lightly on the tabletop. I wondered whether his hands were responsible for the large clay pots that stood near the wall by the hearth. "Well, perhaps another time," he said, gesturing with those hands back toward the front of the grand old house, "when you are available to come help me translate all this into some sort of English that we both can understand." He paused, and with the slightest of bows, issued me back out onto the large stone porch. As we parted company in the afternoon sun and I walked down the steps to the street where my car was parked, I remember thinking that yes, there would be the comfort of tea with this man, perhaps soon. |
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netswan Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369Washington |
Claire is this the end or will there be more ----- It is interesting, yet I felt there was going to be more. netswan |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
This was my first meeting with my late husband. I will try to write more...this was my first attempt. I wasn't sure what I was going to write until just a little while ago when I started. Thank you for reading it, by the way. ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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netswan Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369Washington |
Wonderful Claire. I will look forward to your next writings on this. I felt that you were going to tell more --) I love to read --) Thanks for reading my story --) Glad you enjoyed it. netswan |
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WolfsMate Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 121New York |
A good beginning you have here. I too will be awaiting the rest of the story.  "You never have to worry...Never fear for I am near" |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Thank you, Wolfsmate. I think, however, that I may have posted it prematurely. I don't know whether it would actually be considered a prose piece. I'm thinking I should delete and perhaps try again when I have more written. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
It's up to you Claire, of course, but I definitely want to read more from you. You've got that "voice" that I love hearing. Please, pray thee continue m'lady. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Oh Claire---do write more...this simply READ TO ME...smooth and lovely writing. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Claire, dont delete this treasure..just add to it. you write prose with the same grace, detail and imagery you do your poetry...not that there was any doubt*smile* dont make us beg  more please. jm |
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Dawn Eclipse Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637The Horsehead Nebula |
That was a great beginning to your story, and Please don't deleat it! It was great! "Even a fool knows you can't touch the stars, but it doesn't stop a wise man from trying." Harry Anderson, "Night Court" *Cassandra Roseen* |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Claire: I really enjoyed reading this. The dialogue and narration flowed effortlessly for me and you caught me up in the story. Thanks for sharing. Jim |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Thank you, everyone, for such encouragement. In retrospect, I suppose I should have waited to post this after I had more content, but in my mind and memory, this scene was complete. I will see what I can do about writing more, but cannot do it tonight. Will post when I write it though. Thank you, in earnest, for reading and your gracious responses. ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed reading this...James |
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Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
Claire, I hope you come back to continue this story. The beginning of it held me. Better yet, work it up into a novel. Regards... write with grace, all others lose face; |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Claire, You have given incredible character development without unneeded sentences. Every description of the setting gave me an essence of his being. Quality and desirability are not dependent upon quantity. For example, I consider the impact the short book, The Giving Tree, has had on small decisions I've made in life. No, size doesn't matter... You have quality writing here... A pleasure to read, miscellanea |
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Larrysmom Senior Member
since 2008-04-03
Posts 533Florida, USA |
Wow! I would love to read the rest of the story... Very vivid. Tammy<333 |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo dear Claire, This is excellent work. Keep up the great writing. Love Bobby |
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HAZARD Junior Member
since 2009-06-24
Posts 40ENGLAND |
I'd like to read more - the scene was set beautifully. Relaxed pace and a lullaby feel to the prose. A gentle insight into how friendship begins and how passions are slightly aroused by sounds, sights, feelings, colours, textures... Also some very moorish descriptions - Molasses always reminds me of Macaster oil and slicked 30's hair styles... ENCORE! HAZARD |
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rad802 Member
since 2008-04-19
Posts 279KY U.S.A. |
Wow You really hav a way with words. Very nice. A worthy legacy is the irrevocable consequence of dreaming. |
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