Hell Is Only An Unlocked Door Away

Like you, I have had doors shut, leaving the pain and torture behind locked doors.  Sometimes those doors were picked, leaking hell into my eyes.  The harder I try to close them the more pain i am put through.  It is destined that I will be hurt again.  I wear a mask. One so bright and happy looking, that no one dares to look past it.  It is so hideous, hurt, scared and tortured that it would even make GOD cry.  He is the only one besides myself that knows the pain and torture this frail and weakened body has been dealt.  I'm tired of the pain, i'm tired of the hurt.  I'm tired of people telling me they love me so much and think they will be with me the rest of their lives and it turning out to be false words.  This is it.  I'm throwing all my cards on the table, a game of chance so to speak.  How simple and easy with the turn of a card, all lifes questions can be told, to be answered so quickly without hesitation.  One door.  One door lies wide open hoping, praying that one day I will find the right one for me.  This torn and broken heart cannot and will not be hurt again.  I am scared, scared of losing another to those 3 words ( i love you ) that always seem to be false to me.  God has a certain path we are supposed to travel.  The right on for all of us is destined to be.  I have thought of others that my travel had ended and i was complete.  I was wrong.  Please God, don't let me be wrong again....