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Storm
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Storm |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
The wind swirled around her like a persistent puppy wanting attention. It bumped and tossed her, occasionally taking her breath. The moisture was heavy in the air as she unloaded the car. Leaves picked up and chased her, only to abandon the adventure to settle comfortably back to the ground. "This storm is going to be ominous." She thought to herself. She moved as quickly as her 5'5" frame and short legs would carry her."I hope Jake makes it before the storm hits full force." She muttered as she the last of her things to the cabin. She loved storms but hated having to navigate the roads during one. As she dashed to the cabin small drops of warm rain caressed her face. She struggled to close the door against the forceful wind, shutting out the chaos. She shrugged off her jacket and shoes as she caught her breath. A smile spread across her lips as she looked around the cabin. It was beautiful. She had bought it several years ago and had put much effort and money into making it what it now was. It had a coziness that enveloped you as you entered each room. She moved toward the fire place, a fire would take the chill from the air. She admired the craftsmanship that went into each hand carved oak chair. She basked in the beauty of the hard wood floor and the handmade area rug she had picked up for a song. The fireplace was made from field stones and was exceptionally breathtaking. Jake had made it with his own hands, painstakingly choosing each stone and finding the perfect place for it. He thoroughly enjoyed working with his hands. She lit the fire and watched for a moment as the flames licked at the logs. "Oh the food! I had better put the refrigerated things away." she thought to herself. She moved to the groceries pilled by the door and carried them to the kitchen to put away. As she was putting away the makings for a salad, lightening flashed. She stopped and silently counted. CRACK!! The thunder boomed after a count of 3. "That was close" She exclaimed and peered out the window. All she could see through the darkness was snarled turbulence, the rain coming down full force. She finished unpacking the groceries and moved to unpack her clothes. When she emerged from the bedroom she went to the window in the livingroom to watch the storm. She could hear the wind throughout the cabin. Trees were scratching at the outer walls as if seeking shelter from the relentless blasts. She hadn't experienced a storm of this magnitude in years. Her thoughts turned once again to Jake. They had met 6 years earlier on a rafting adventure. She chuckled at the memory, HE had basically fallen into her lap. He had been so busy chatting with his buddy that he tripped over a small rock and landed in her lap. He had been so embarrassed that it took 3 days out of the 5 day trip for him to speak to her again. You see Jake was a rugged outdoorsman with a warm gentle spirit. He was 6'2 and built like a line backer. For a 5'5, petite little thing to rescue him from the hard feel of the ground was a little, how could you put it, ego bruising. He was to quickly get over that problem though. she proved herself time and time again in their relationship. She was small but tough, smart and unrelenting. She was chuckling to herself when a lightening strike and thunder coincided and rocked the tiny cabin. Her remembrance turned quickly to worry. She glanced at her watch and he was 2 hours late. Jake was never late, he prided himself on punctuality. She shook her head to rid herself of dreary thoughts. Jake was a strong man and could handle any situation, he would be fine. Suddenly her ears picked up what she thought was a soft rapping sound. No, it was gone as quickly as it was there. She gazed contentedly into the fire. There it was again, yes! This time she was sure that she had heard it. she moved quickly to the door and listened again. It must have been a good minute and a half before she heard the sound again and she pulled the cabin door open. "Oh my God!" She exclaimed. There on the front porch of the cabin was Jake. He was leaning against the door frame bleeding profusely. "Jake! Oh baby. what happened." He looked at her. "Road is washed out, car went with it." He whispered as she pulled him into the cabin. He was drenched to the skin and shivering. His hands were like ice. she brought him over by the fire and quickly stripped off his clothing. She wrapped him in blankets from the sofa and began to inspect his wounds. He was bleeding from a gash on his forehead and his shoulder was dislocated. He had 2 broken ribs, she thought, and a broken left leg. He was in shock and had lost a lot of blood. She gently prodded his belly and he winced with pain. "Oh Jake." slipped from her lips as tears ran over her cheeks. There was some sever internal bleeding and she couldn't get him to a hospital. She did what she could to make him comfortable and prayed that he would make it through the night. She had no phone and no way to move him. She wrapped him in blankets and pulled him into her lap. She told him how much she loved him as her fingers ran through his hair. Tears poured down her cheeks as he slowly slipped from her. She could feel his life leaving his body, then suddenly he was gone. She sat there and rocked him in her lap as her life, her heart, her soul leaked from her body like the warm tears that leaked from her eyes. Copywrite 1999 M.H. [This message has been edited by Marilyn (edited 11-02-1999).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 Marilyn - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
Marilyn, this is heartbreaking. However, the imagery is beautiful. ------------------ Thinking is just what a great many people think they are doing when they are merely rearranging their predjudices. |
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merlynh Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 411deer park, wa |
This is the best work I've seen you post so far. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Marilyn. I am sitting here with shaking hands. Lately my life has been, well, kindof strnge. When I read this, I started crying. It seems such an unfair loss. I only yearn for happiness like that, and to read of it broken so swiftly broke my heart. This was a masterfully told tale, one that touched me deep. |
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Richard 33 Member
since 1999-09-09
Posts 187glen easton, wv usa |
Speechless with huge tears running down my cheeks!!!!!!!! [This message has been edited by Richard 33 (edited 11-03-1999).] |
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JennyLee Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461Northwestern, NJ. |
Marilyn,this is awesome and so well struck ! Jenny ------------------ Love is an attempt at penetrating another being,But it can only succeed if the surrender is mutual. |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Wow...thankyou all for your comments. I am awed that this could touch each of you this deeply. Christopher...I am very sorry that your life has been so unsettled. I know all too well the feelings you speak of. I too do not know of the deep founded love and friendship I discribed in this piece. I long to have something that powerful. Maybe that is the reason this piece took the twist that it did. Richard....Dry your tears my friend. I am so deeply touched that you could be so drawn into the story that it would move you to tears. merlyn.....I hope that doesn't mean the rest of my work was less then ggreat. The trillogy is the first chapter in a novel I hope to finish. Amy....I am glad that the imagery catch you. Jenny....Thankyou. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
I'm having a hard time replying to this with these tears in my eyes, but I'll try here. This was so sad Marilyn, but in turn very well written. The imagery was fantastic, you should be proud of yourself. Ruth ------------------ Alis volat propriis |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Oh Marilyn. A perfect piece, conveying so many emotions. It made me glassy eyed(not quite crying). You my soulsister have a gift, use it and benefit from it. Thanks for sharing this with me by sending the link. Wonderful. Thumbs up. I'm bowled over  ------------------ Through poetry my heart and soul truly sing... ~Isis~ (Daughter of Mystery) |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Ruth....I am touched by your comments. Thankyou for taking the time to read this for me. I am quite proud of myself. Isis...my soul sister. We may not have what we long for in our lives but we can write about what we want. Unfortunately what a reader needs is tragidy or conflict in a story. This one ended in tragidy and may very well have because of the void in my own life. Who knows, I just love to write and I have a million little stories running through my head all the time...lol. |
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Watcher666 Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 1606 |
Heart wrenching, emotion packed,,,absolutely wonderful! ------------------ Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
So sad a story and very well done. |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Watcher, Martie...Thankyou both for reading and replying. It means much to me. |
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