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Guardian Angel (Part 2)
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Guardian Angel (Part 2) |
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Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
While staring numbly at my mother, I was told she had had the disease for eight years. I was not told because it was agreed that my relationship with her would be different. It was lung cancer, from smoking. Today she had been taken into the OR for emergency hernia surgery, which gave the cancer a foothold to advance, since her defenses were down. I was told she didn't have much longer here. I didn't realize I was crying until the tears ran down from my face, onto my shirt. I was then told that we would be packing our bags and staying with grandma and grandpa for a while. Basically, it was the nice way of saying, until Grandma dies. So we packed out bags, the dogs, and the bird up, and drove to their house. I was to sleep in my mom's old room upstairs, and my mom in Grandma's bed, and Grandma in the hospital bed brought in for her comfort. It was just a countdown, now. I sat detachedly by and watched my grandmother die. She lost weight by the day. A little rat gnawed at my guts every time I saw her push away food, and a knife went deeper into my heart everytime I saw the affects of the morphine on her personality. One day I was pulled out of school, and told it was going to be soon. Day dragged into night, as Grandma's breaths grew more labored and farther apart. I was perched on a chair arm next to her bed, watching, waiting, knowing every breath could be the last. A little after midnight, early in the morning of March 8, 1995, I was holding her hand. She was wearing her favorite nightgown, and the guardian angel pin she always wore. My mom whispered to her, "Mom, it's ok to go. We all love you. We'll miss you. But it's time to move on." I could swear I felt her hand grip mine, very feebly, but still a squeeze. Perhaps I imagined it. A moment later, Grandma took her last breath. ------------------ "Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage." -Billy Corgan- |
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| © Copyright 1999 Systematic Decay - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Wow, I see I should have read completely through before I commented on part one. Cancer is a sad thing but when you realize what a person that has cancer goes through, Death has a way of bringing peace...And about the squeeze, I believe it too. ------------------ Michael Anderson Is all that we see or seem but a dream within a dream? |
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Watcher666 Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 1606 |
I've sat that 'death-watch'. No one can every explain the feeling unless you've been there.Excellent message here.Let your loved one know it's alright to let go.In that there's peace.Felt this one deeply. Well done! ------------------ Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you. |
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JennyLee Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461Northwestern, NJ. |
Amy this was so saddening. My Grandmother was in Hospice for nearly a year before the Angels took her. I had to leave and come back here to keep my job. My Mom called, and put the phone to her ear so she could hear my voice..that was Dec. 1st 1988...that evening she passed away. I spent my birthday saying goodbye to the only woman in my life that ever let me be myself. I will always cherish those last words I spoke to her. Bless you for writing this. Jenny |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Rocking as always my friend.  ------------------ Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~. DreamEvil© |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
And you have immortalized her spirit here in your story. Tough, but part of life...and a good way to remember her. |
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