navwin » Main Forums » Passions in Prose » Every Day Quitter
Passions in Prose
Post A Reply Post New Topic Every Day Quitter Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Prasad Nataraj
Senior Member
since 2008-05-29
Posts 1149
Bangalore,India

0 posted 2011-07-29 01:54 AM


Every Day Quitter

After disturbed nightmarish damp humid midsummer night, first timid tender rays managed to peep through the heavy drapes. Struggled my way out through the thick blanket, wore those shabby jogger pants and old pair of shoes. Time for that refreshing morning walk, jog or whatever. A few stretching here and there. While walking through those lush green coconut trees, I reflected on this weekend. The other day that is, Sunday was spent changing nappies, carrying the little soul to the near by park, his never ending craving for attention and many more endless needs to cater to. Twenty four hours seemed shrunk to few minutes and one hardly got time for himself. With little time left only when the little monster takes a nap at noon, a quick dash o the basement studio, first few seconds spent admiring the previous doodles. Then set up a fresh cartridge paper on the drawing board, next few hours spent gazing at the empty space above for that not so there, inspiration!

Time’s up and the little rascal as woken up and he’s exercising his vocal cord to the maximum. Okay, no more drawings today, covering up the fresh white paper with an old newspaper. I head straight to the hall. There’ he is yelling his way to glory, those notes from his cry were hitting high notes, and one thought he might become an opera singer or something in future. However into my cozy arms, he was still a little fellow smiling away to eternal bliss. That’s life I guess, we lose some to get some.

Gone where those laundering exciting days at huge malls, hand in hand window shopping, chewing pop corn watching one of those sci-fi blockbusters, or even those flop matinee shows meant a great deal. Escaping the envying public eyes was the simple idea. Exploring every little restaurant in the city and those little fun arguments we use to have on the unknown menu, sipping tender coconuts and monthly trips to beach destination. They all seemed like a distant dream, well captured on pictures now rest peacefully in many dusty photo albums. They are all now part of a long lost list on my personal blog and other fading away social networking sites. “Bow-wow” a little fellows bark in the park, dragged me back to present tense. Within no time the pleasures of weekend was over. Bidding Farwell to great laziness and ugly Monday was staring right at my face. Early morning chirping of the birds, don’t mean a great deal, especially on Monday’s. Every morning read from top leaders was a custom that Dad induced into me from childhood; they all convey the same message in different words. “Follow your Heart”.

Monday morning read was also on similar lines, sipping through the hot aromatic coffee, those inspirational thoughts from that book reached my mind at faster rate. After almost a decade of not knowing what one was doing and where he’s heading too. As suggested in that book, I sat down on a serious note, wrote down the everyday goals and set short deadlines. It looked like a positive start, my eyes lit up staring that those goals and finally my life looked stable and under my control. It was short lived, Neha was yelling at top of her voice “Is anyone alive, can you not hear the Tarun crying, I don’t have two pair of hands, to do everything on my own”. Neha, in her mid thirties, from a well established business family, a hardworking young manager at an age old firm, early motherhood days for her and early days as father for me too. Putting the dairy away, I rushed to the master bedroom, which was now Tarun’s bedroom and every little detailed arrangement was made to make him feel at ease. There he was at it again, kicking thin air, boxing at someone invisible person and his crying was at his usual best.

At the first sight of me, wonder what happened to him. His voice toned down, glimpse of smile could also be seen through this sparkling innocent eyes.  Gently lifting him in my arms, “allale, allale, why are you crying, you little monster” I asked him sarcastically. No answer, just smiling that was his standard answer to most of my queries. Walking my way to the hall, I asked her” What’s for breakfast today? “Something eatable off course” she yelled back.  Neha was in the kitchen busy preparing breakfast and lunch, her cab would be honking downstairs any moment. Packing her lunch box in the kitchen, she was already sweating profusely. “Turn on that AC in the hall and shut the windows” she ordered. Turning the AC on, I sat on the sofa, with our little fellow on my lap, flipping through the newspaper. One would easily, recognize the sound of the cab arrive at ground floor. I rushed to the balcony, “Panch minute, Anna” I requested the driver. “I’ll filled the bottle with milk, breakfast and lunch is ready, Aaya, will be here in few minutes, she’ll give bath to Tarun, his clothes are lying at the bed, take him to the baby care center and she’ll bring him back in the evening, See you, Kanna” pinching Tarun’s round cheeks she rushed down the stairs, for a moment I wished it was me who she would pinch. If not pinching a gentle peck like good old days is all one yearned for these days.

Holding his hand waving to her” Say bye to Mummy” I said. Waving back, she got into the cab and in no time she disappeared to the main street. Walking back to the hall, I saw the kitchen was sure messy and so was the hall and the rest of the rooms. Invariably, my thoughts went back to the days, when we both moved into this duplex and how she was so strict on keeping things clean and tidy. Now I see every selected valuable item under threat of been broken any moment. Tarun has mind reading abilities, I thought to myself because he was looking at the same items in the showcase. So holding him, I walked right out to the balcony, “Say, Appa, Say, Amma,” I said to him. No word from him yet, just a plain old customary smile and waving of hands in the air. Aaya, was here, he reached his outstretched arms to her. I sure envied how he was bonding with our maid.  He would listen to her and never cry when she was around. Fine, high time I better get ready and head to office, I thought to myself.

Got ready, had breakfast, by then, he was also ready, having his milk from the feeding bottle. Aaya, was busy cleaning all the mess in the kitchen. Slowly lifting him, “Polamaa” (Shall we go!) I winked at him. He vibrates strange happy smiles every time we go out, dropping him at baby care was another one of those exercise I would want to avoid. His crying begins, as soon as he realizes that it’s to this place we are heading too. The lady there tries her best to convince him or should I say me, so I can carry on with work. At office, it’s the same old situation. Everyone, trying to prove a point, it’s less of productive work and more of trying to prove who is right. A decade of working at desk, as taken great toll on my health as well, overweight, back pain, gastritis, long sight etc… Off course self esteem too, takes great beating when the reporting to person fails to understand what you are going through. Anyway, it’s none of her business, I think to myself often.” You, don’t work on holidays and weekend these days, you are losing focus, your productivity is slowly declining” Just few of those, everyday comments I get to hear these days. For the person, who won many valuable projects for the organization and was the top performer for many years consecutively. These comments were very insulting.

Got a call from a known number, hit the Clt,Alt Dlt keys with a smile, I picked the call immediately and headed to the canteen. “Yes, tell me Paa, it’s great to hear from you” I began. We spoke for few minutes however it was great talking to him. “Where’s this guy, is he on a break again?” I could hear a familiar voice, shouting on top of her voice. “He got a call” someone answered. “I need to speak to his guy, he’s not serious at his job anymore, not meeting his deadlines, always on breaks, always on phone, working for six to five hours a day, not happening” that voice continued. As I entered to my workstation, that voice rose again.” Boss, what do you think you are doing here; this is not happening, okay! You need to pay more attention at work and not at everything else, we have deadlines to meet, management is closing watching us, this is your unofficial warning, Okay! Better take care, Okay!” non-stop musical channels would definitely want to hire my boss, I thought to myself. Nodding, gently, I said “Okay”. During lunch break, everyone was talking about this very topic. I sat with few of my pals, didn’t speak much to them either. Just wanted to put down the papers right then and there, I felt really frustrated and humiliated.

By evening, back pain was at its notorious best. It was unbearable, sending all the reports, packed my laptop and was about to leave office. “Have you completed the monthly report, yet!” that familiar voice questioned me again. “Will do it today, taking laptop home” I said with a little more than frustrated tone. “Okay, Okay, make sure you complete that report by end of day” that voice said. “Okay” I answered and left office in a rush thinking it’s already end of working day for most of the world. Got a call from Neha “Can you pick me up from Market” she ordered. “Okay” I said in return. “Chalo, Bye” she hung up.

While heading back from office, I thought to myself all those days when we both spoke for long hours and would fight with each other on who would hang up first, saying” You hang up, No, You hang up”. Lots of thoughts ran rampage, most prominent ones were about quitting this job immediately. While waiting for Neha at the market, one thought about the housing loan, the daily goals one wrote down this morning, the investments, those pending insurance premiums and off course ‘Tarun’.  A soft hand slowly laid its firm grip on my shoulders, it was her, no doubt” Hello, you look so very lost, are you okay” she said. “No, nothing, let’s go” I reluctantly answered. Riding on the bike through the jam packed traffic, she hugged me tight around my waist “Are you still thinking about what I said in the office? We have lots of pressure and deadlines to meet this month, you know that, na” she went on…

©Prasad.N May 6th 2011
All rights reserved to Prasad.N


"The secret behind survival of mankind is kindness and love within our hearts"

© Copyright 2011 Prasad Natarajan - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2011-07-29 09:28 PM


quote:
thought to myself all those days when we both spoke for long hours and would fight with each other on who would hang up first, saying” You hang up, No, You hang up”.

Oh my. Some 31 plus years ago this is how he and I would talk as well prior to coming home to one another.

And we were a "second marriage." Things that should have been "normal" were "new", and it was wonderful.

I do not want to tell you that you are living everyone's life, because you wrote of it, and in writing of it, made it even more yours and hers and Tarun's life...

and that, my friend, made it very special.

Here's to a moment's bliss this coming week's end, where you might find a blessing inspired to place upon your canvas.




Prasad Nataraj
Senior Member
since 2008-05-29
Posts 1149
Bangalore,India
2 posted 2011-08-01 02:23 AM


Thank you for taking time and writing such kind comments. Truly appreciate your time.   

"The secret behind survival of mankind is kindness and love within our hearts"

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Main Forums » Passions in Prose » Every Day Quitter

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary