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Grieving for Humpty Dumpty
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Grieving for Humpty Dumpty |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States 
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Grieving for Humpty Dumpty By Larry Chadwick And so I knelt down to pray. Innocent in my intentions I wanted to thank the Lord for what he has done for me. Even those things we take for granted came up. Then it was my intent to pray for my family. Our parents aren’t getting any younger and they appreciate knowing we as God to watch over them. Of course our brothers and their large extended families. Leaving out thirty some aunts and uncles would not be right and my sixty first cousins certainly need to be remembered. But most importantly we really want to remember our children. And so it was that I asked God to bless our boys. Right there, right in my face, I was reminded I no longer need to pray for my daughter who has died. And tears welled up from nowhere. I often thank God for the time we had together and for the great memories. But right then I just wanted to be able to pray for her… and there was no point. My prayer was finished with a weak a teary amen so that I might indulge the tears. It isn’t that we can’t accept the reality of death. It is that God wired our minds for eternity. And so grief has become the burden that bridges time from now until then. We are better for embracing grief, for to deny it is to embrace suffering. Suffering is grief without hope. Why would I chose that? And so I embrace tears as they wash away forgetfulness. And just as the rainbow is that sunray of hope in the rain, so is the smile to my tears. And hope renews by accepting the grief as a badge of honor for having shared a precious life. People speak in terms that grief does not understand. They speak of healing and the benefits of the passing of time. They even speak of mended hearts. But those things should be saved for denial. I choose to meet grief face to face. It is my way of refusing to suffer and avoiding the façade of denial. Hope seems to have connected to grief and despair has partnered with suffering. So I see no sadness in grief but find it unavoidable in sorrow. Healing seems synonymous with forgetting, something suffering would trick you into doing. It doesn’t tempt me. I have come to accept that the perception of sadness remains when reminiscing or honoring your deceased loved ones. I find it erroneous but forgivable. They were pretty much right about Humpty Dumpty. Nobody could put him back together again. But still I choose to honor the memory of him. May 31, 2010 If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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| © Copyright 2010 Larry Chadwick - All Rights Reserved | |||
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
"It is that God wired our minds for eternity." This is so true Larry~~and I agree with you about grief.  M |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
we as humans have hurts we can NEVER get over and God be with you amen |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Maureen, It took me a long time to figure that out. Explains why we can be old and still think of ourselves as in our much younger years. Thanks dear lady. Helen, All is well and you support the point I tried to make. We don't "get over it" we grow into acceptance. Thank you for your encouragement. And know that all is well with me. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, |
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Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now |
Oh I hardly bear it.. the tears come now, for you,for your awful loss- I do not know you but I know that love; that heart- I am a parent also.. and can`t imagine worse, oh I pray that God may strengthen you throughout the coming days~ Peace to you~ Amaryllis |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Dear Amaryllis, It has been eight years and there are seldom tears. They arrive unannounced and depart almost as quickly. I have written mostly about my own experience with grief and loss rather than lighter fair for most of that time. Mostly I'm trying to help people understand the gap is never filled the pain is never "gone." IT IS however diminished and moves from grief and sorrow to sadness and joy. Sadness for what you lost and joy for what you had. I am at peace with all of those things. And more importantly leading a happy life. I have never lost focus that prevents me from celebrating the son I have left at the cost of glorifying the dead. Do I miss her? With all my heart. Living with grief and sorrow is so much a better option than denying it. And in it all I am able to celebrate her memory and her life. SO from where I sit, I'm really blessed. It's not my intent to minimize your empahty. I would never do that. But it is my intent to somehow communicate that it is as bad as you are able to imagine, BUT it is survivable. And coming up for breath I'd like to thank you for your sensitivity. I'm sure you are a wonderful parent. I thank you for your kindness. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, |
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Earl Brinkman Senior Member
since 2010-03-03
Posts 1183Osaka, Japan |
I want to thank you for sharing your wisdom with us. |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Earl, You are very kind. Thank you for being so. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
You have written this so tenderly for the daughter you miss with all of your heart...James |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Thank you James. |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Larry C, poet and wordsmith of emotion, I have only my friends and parents, most friends are gone And both my parents have died, But I no longer pray for them I pray to them. I talk to Mom all the time And though she has never answered in words I feel her response in my soul and spirit. Gloom |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
The cycles of life. If only... Reminds me why my faith matters. I am sorry for your losses as well. Grief is a hard teaches which is, I'm sure, why learning is so valuable. Speaking of wordsmiths... it is an honor to have you as a friend Prof. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Larry, I thought you would enjoy this little story. While I was subbing the other day my lesson was for the children to come up with a way to try and put Humpty together again after analyzing his problem. The last possible solution from these 7 year olds was to take a plastic Easter Egg (those that are halved because they were stronger than an egg shell) and put the old insides of Humpty inside (including his heart), and close him up, seal it with duct tape and replace his eyes, ears, mouth etc... on the outside and get the King's men and horses to raise him back up onto the wall... don't know why, but thought I would try and bring a smile~~~ always nice to see you. M |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Larry, no one could have said it better. When it comes to grief, the old addage of, "If I close my eyes you cannot see me" doesn't work. One does not move ahead by denying but rather by facing and accepting. You have done that over the years and I admire you as much as I have ever admired anyone I've been privileged to associate with. Be well, friend. Hey, Maureen, are your students Egyptians??? |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Larry, Thanks for sharing your thoughts and heart with us. My dad died close to forty years ago, and sometimes, when I say my prayers, I cannot omitt him, instead saying that I hope everyone up there enjoys him as much as I did. I am sure they do, as they would your daughter. miscellanea |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Dear M, I love the story of the 7 year olds! I too see Humpty back on the wall. Thank you for sharing such a tender concept. Puts a big smile on my face. Dear Deer, This journey has been so much richer done in your company. Denial never seemed like a good option to me either. Thank you for being a friend of honesty and candor. Dear miscie, 40 years is a long time and yet... I too like the prospect of heaven and long to be there. Until then I choose, like you, to remember. Thank you. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, |
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