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David
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David |
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Clang Member
since 2005-12-15
Posts 222 |
Katie walked to the nurses station in the intensive care wing. Amy, the African-American nurse who always had a welcome smile and gentle eyes greeted her as she approached. "Good to see you again Katie," the nurse said. "How's he doing?" Katie asked. "Not good. It won't be long now. This morning he signed a DNR," the nurse replied. "Well I'll go on in and sit with him for awhile," Katie said, turning and making her way to the door of David's hospital room. Once inside Katie was assaulted by the smell of urine and bleach and an odor she identified with death. The man in the bed was dying. David had cancer. It was in his lungs and lymphatic system. She made her way to the left side of the bed and sat in the chair. Gently she picked up David's hand and ever so softly squeezed it. "Hey there buddy," she said. The man slowly turned to look at her. He reached up and pulled the oxygen mask from his face and let it rest just below his chin. "Hey yourself. I was just dreaming about you," he said. "It won't be long now." "I know," Katie replied, feeling the tears well up in her eyes. "How's group going?" David asked, refering to the group in which they had met to learn about and gain support for their mutual mental illnesses. "Group's good. It's not the same without you running the show though." Katie smiled as she answered. "Now there's no leading authority on schitzophrenia." "Have you been reading the MI Bible like I told you?" David seemed to struggle to get the words out between fighting gasps for air. David began to cough in deep, resonating and uncontrolable fits. Katie grabbed the plastic spitoon and, moving the dangling oxygen mask up to David's forehead, held the dish so David could spit blood and mucous out. When the fit was over Katie took the spitoon to the sink and ran water in it and doused a washcloth in warm water. She took the cloth to David and wiped his mouth and face. When David had regained his composure he said to Katie, "You know what they did today? They came in and tested me for diabetes, because they were worried I might have developed it from my psych meds." Katie just smiled at her friend. "You'd think they'd be smart and save medicaid the money because it is a moot point at this stage of the game. You know my doctor never nagged me about quitting smoking, because of the schitzophrenia," David continued. "Now I'm wishing I'd quit, but when I tried before the symptoms really got bad." Katie knew that nicotine had beneficial affects to curb the symptoms of schitzophrenia. With mental illness there were many trade-offs. She said nothing and just held David's hand. "So have you started writing again?" David asked. Katie looked away from David's searching eyes and said a simple "Nope." "Why not?" he asked. "I can't. It's all tied to my illness and I just don't want to. Besides I do write...all the time, in fact." Katie said, looking at a spot on the wall in order to avoid David's gaze. "Sure you write, but that's for school. I'm talking about the creative stuff. I've read your work and you have talent," David's breathing became more laborious. "What I have is a collection of manic psychotic ramblings that have all sorts of hidden meanings that only I understand," Katie replied. Trying to change the subject Katie said, "I'm going to really miss our 9 o'clock phone calls." Katie always called David during her 9 O'clock break at work. The two of them would tell each other about their day or just talk. "Remember Thoreau?" David asked. David had begun his Doctor's thesis on the writings of Thoreau. "Maybe you can write about him." "He's your favorite not mine, even though I like his stuff." Katie smiled at David. "So what was your favorite quote?" David reached for the mask to put it on again, but before he did he said, "I'll tell you, but not now." The mask went on and David turned on the television with the remote control. An old re-run of the Golden Girls was on and the two of them just sat and watched, each chuckling occasionally at the outrageous plot. When the show was over David turned off the television and reached for his mask again, pulling it down to his chin. "Tell me about God, we never talk about God." When Katie didn't reply David continued, "Allright I'll tell you about God. When I first heard the voices..oh, at about 21...and I realized that no one else could hear them I thought it was the Holy Spirit. Funny thing was, though, the Holy Spirit was pretty negative and beat me up most of the time. So, when I found out I was a shitzoid I gave up on God. God was too confusing a concept. If I can't see it or touch it it isn't real. The whole faith thing is just really hard to grasp, because so much that I sense is not really real." Katie sqeezed his hand. "I can see you're not in to this. Why don't you go and get a cup of coffee," David said. Wiping a tear from her cheek Katie replied, "Okay, be back in a sec." She leaned over David and kissed his forehead before putting the oxygen mask back in place. Katie spent a half-an-hour in the cafeteria. It was late and very few people were in attendance. Slowly she made her way back to David's room. Amy looked up upon her approach and came around the station. "Honey, you need to have a seat," Amy gently commandeed. Katie sat on the bench outside the room and Amy sat beside her. Katie knowingly closed her eyes and began to cry. "He wanted you to have this," Amy said handing Katie a book. Amy put her arms around Katie and held her and as she did the sobs began to come. Katie looked at the book. It was the MI bible. "Where Ever You Go, There You Are," by Kabat-Zinn. She leafed through the pages and noted that every Thoreau quote had been highlighted. She wiped away her tears and smiled. Lying in bed that night Katie spoke to David in her mind. "What will I do without you?" she asked curling into a ball. "My life will be so empty." She thought about an eminent end to her own life, and then she heard him... He was laughing. A mocking, knowing laugh that shook Katie to her soul. "Just you wait," he said. "Just you wait." And then he was gone. Parts of ths story are true. |
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| © Copyright 2008 Kat - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Philmont Member
since 2004-01-10
Posts 61 |
Good and touching write. I'm sorry if you went through this. I'm glad you posted it though. |
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Clang Member
since 2005-12-15
Posts 222 |
Parts of it yes. I lost a good friend, but I remember him as more of an inspiration and support. He taught me there are people who can accept you for who you are and love you inspite of it. Thanks for reading. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Clang, It was not hard to immediately grasp that this came from a personal situation. You did a very good job on this, and the only critique I could offer is that there are a few misspellings. Once that's taken care of, I could see that this would be publishable in a mental and/or health magazine highlighting support groups, and what it means to be a companion...all the way. Well done! |
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effjayel Senior Member
since 2007-09-30
Posts 1474At the Crossroads of Infinity |
Clang, After the shivers stopped I could not figure out why the thought kept going around my head " David & Goliath" then it dawned on me..David was Goliath. I almost felt like I knew Him from your portrayal. Well done and what a lucky man He was for knowing you and how lucky were you for having known Him.. Cheers John |
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Clang Member
since 2005-12-15
Posts 222 |
You know I never thought of this that way. Interesting... |
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