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Missed Opportunities
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Missed Opportunities |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States 
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Missed Opportunities By Larry Chadwick How is it possible? And why should it be so? Loss is a path to incredible gain. Perhaps it is God's compensation plan. What happened that I missed that principle? It is likely that I called in sick that day. I have friends whose children were the same age as mine. Their daughter died at the age of two. Somehow I became an unobservant voyeur. Watching their los, but failing to absorb the facts. It was too painful. Anyway I am certain it, nor anything else, could not have prepared me for the loss of my own girl twenty six years later. Suddenly it became personal and somebody else was the voyeur. I found myself taking crb notes i.e. grief without growth is pain without purpose. I have reached that phase where the growth from grief has slowed because pain has found its purpose. Which causes me to wonder: In losses that do not involve death have I experienced growth? If not they will have served no purpose. I may be busy for a while. There is alot of my life I have found reason to review. August 25, 2005 If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. [This message has been edited by Larry C (08-26-2006 10:41 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2006 Larry Chadwick - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Suddenly it became personal and somebody else was the voyeur. ~*~ Tonight, because someone insisted on a huge tv, and all the movies; tonight I was a voyeur of the life of all...tonight ~*~ I shuddered when nails were slammed; tears let loose at the sudden pain; big screen scenes were mine at will and suddenness brought quick blood stain; when such grief is great with all of the loss cries of God! and Jesus! spring forth the cost then through gray mist some light seems to stream in, I see dreams of angels coming on in... ~*~ In this stream yes, I am dreaming of you... In the gathering closely, you are home.  She knows. |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Larry, Each of us who have lived through great loss, has had to wade through tons of unanswered questions. You of all people know this. You have been available to so many throughout your life. The answers are within all those you gave to others without knowing that you gave. I am sure they have at one time or another thought of something you might have offered to them. And yet there are still no answers. Try as we might. Who are we to have such privilege? With love, mom |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
I'd say you've experienced growth. Your last line says it all and, although time softens the pain, no pen will ever be able to translate the hole inside. Thanks for sharing this. |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Karilea, ========================================= I shuddered when nails were slammed; tears let loose at the sudden pain; big screen scenes were mine at will and suddenness brought quick blood stain; when such grief is great with all of the loss cries of God! and Jesus! spring forth the cost then through gray mist some light seems to stream in, I see dreams of angels coming on in... ~*~ In this stream yes, I am dreaming of you... In the gathering closely, you are home. ========================================== A response that means more than words can express. Thank you. Ah dear Martyjo, Spoken as only a mom would. Suck kind and generous words. But alas the only meaningful value in grief is the growth. And I certainly have plenty of room for that. Thank you. Munda, In large part because the hole never leaves. And thank you for understanding and your kindness. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
I am sure you have obtained growth. though of course growth takes place continuously with passing age... i hope that the pain has numbed? |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
kaile, I'm pretty sure I understand the intent of your reply. And thank you for being so considerate. But I never was much interested in numbing of any kind. Seems you have to feel it deal with it.  If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
This was a good and comforting prose piece. I like your use of the word voyeur to denote the kind of morbid curiosity we all feel when we encounter someone weeping -- at least I do. But when the tragedy becomes personal then it is time for one to reflect upon the experience itself while others observe at your expense. Well said. Life's short. Think hard! |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Kevin, Thanks for the read and resonse. It is amazing how time impacts your grief but does nothing to alter the loss. I so appreciated your thoughtful reply. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, |
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