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A Chance to Explain
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A Chance to Explain |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA 
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Anna always seemed to brighten my day. Whether I was already happy or if I had a broken heart, she was there to guide me and make the best of everything. I loved her, with everything I had. She taught me the essence of fun and the life in living. There was more to it than guys, and parties, and just hanging around. It was about who you spent your time with that really counted. I always thought good of her. No matter what she did I forgave her. I couldn't hold a grudge. Not to her anyways. She was my best friend and we couldn't stay mad at each other for very long. As years passed, Anna and I stayed very close to one another. If I was sad, she was sad. If she was in tears over some boy, I was right there with the tissue box and a comforting word. That's how things worked. We liked to think it was a buddy system that went on forever and we were the only ones that knew about it. High school rolled around and we were growing up. We were introduced to new people, a new world, and through this new way of life also came sex, drugs, and lies. We both knew the only way to get through rough times was to lean on each other when we were in need but neither of us really wanted to admit that we had no life outside each other's tears and laughter. We knew that we both had to make new friends if we wanted to fit in but that we would remain close and still be the best friends that we could make out to be. That's when it started. Weeks went by and the only notice Anna and I had took of each other was the occasional "hey" as we passed each other down the hallway. It stayed that way for a while. No sleepovers, no more staying up all night and talking about everything in life that made us who we were. Nothing. Nothing at all. We had grown apart and that's the way everyone saw us. Life had taken it's turn and to me it seemed that it had fallen in right on top of me. Crushing my hope of ever finding myself again or regaining my strength without "her." I sat at the lunch table and silently laughed to myself about the time Anna and I snuck into Old Man Wickers Coffee Shop. Life had always been so simple back then. Now, well, it wasn't so simple anymore. Actually it seemed that everyday something new was introduced to hold me back or tie me down. I could never get where I was going. Anna sat with her friend Lisa at the other table. She seemed like she didn?t even know I existed. I watched her for a second then looked away. It would've been awkward if she caught me staring at her. I knew she didn't care about me anymore. That was ok. I also had new friends. Sometimes I just wished things were back to the way they were. I figured a note wedged into her locker after fourth might let her know how I was feeling about us being so far apart now, but I chickened out. I couldn't do it. I couldn't show Anna or anyone else for that matter that I had a weakness. It would only be used against me. I could never live up to that. The bus ride home was terrible these days. I was lowered to staring out the window and listening to my headphones until it was my turn to get off. I was just never in the mood to talk by the time school ended. I got off the bus at the stop on 42nd street. Sitting at the bus stop was Anna. She owned a car so I wasn't sure what she was doing there. I got up the courage to speak to her. "Anna," I started, "What are you doing here?" "I'm just waiting to pick up my little brother Brian." she replied "Did he not ride today?" "I'm afraid not," I replied, "but nice talking to you." I walked away. I didn't see the point in staying very long. It was weird enough for us to be talking ten seconds much less a few minutes. I picked up my pace some. I was determined to get home. I had too much on my mind to be on the streets. My dad always said it was bad to think and walk around traffic at the same time. He always thought of it as a joke but I guess it kind of stuck with me. "Hey Sarah!" I heard Anna's voice calling my name. I turned around, "yes?" I asked shockingly confused. "Nevermind." Her voice trailed off and she continued to walk towards her car. I didn't stay there. I turned and kept walking. There was no use. I figured that whatever Anna had to tell me could wait. At least until I figured out if I really wanted to hear it. I hurried home. Eight AM and I walked into my first period class. I saw Anna's friends all looking at me and acting weird. I didn't say anything. Life was too complicated right now to add more to it. By seventh period that day I was exhausted. I was just ready to go home and take a nap. Anna hadn't been at school today. I'm not sure why but I didn't worry about it. I was just anxious in a way because I felt that she might tell me what it was she started to say yesterday. I guess I had to wait. The bus ride home seemed longer than it usually did. I thought I would never get away from the annoying, nagging children on the bus. Not to mention the driver. I arrived home at approximately 4:15. I headed to my room to lie down when my mother called me into the kitchen. She needed to talk. After about an hour of crying and sobbing I dried my face. My mother showed me the pictures from the wreck. I couldn't believe it. I didn't see why it had to happen now. When things were maybe finally about to turn around. When I finally thought that things would go back to the way they used to be. I was devastated. Along with the pictures my mother handed me a piece of paper. "The Morgans found this on her bed this morning before she left." My mother told me. I took the paper from her. It was a small square sheet folded in half one time. The front of the note said: "To: Sarah From: Anna." I was scared to open it but I knew I had to face my fears. I had no idea that I would reveal five words that I would remember for the rest of my life. I opened the letter and read with every ounce of fear in my body exiting through my tears. In black ink I read the words "I wish I could explain." Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. Want nothing & you will have everything.a. |
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| © Copyright 2006 Heather Sullivan - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Frank W. Torres Member
since 2006-06-10
Posts 133 |
Girl next door, Powerful. I just felt the sudden impact. |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
thank you so much. I appreciate you taking the time to read this. ~Heather~ Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
How sad. But you have a nice easy prose style Heather. The note left me wondering, did Anna intentionally crash her car? Lots of unanswered questions, which is a reality of life. Enjoyed reading your prose! Kacy |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
Kacey.. I re-think what I wrote and the whole story was self-explaining til the end. my original intention was to be just that Anna left the note "I wish i could explain" telling Sarah about their friendship and how she wished she could explain why they weren't friends anymore.. but it makes an unusual twist that anna might have Killed herself in the wreck. and left Sarah the note about how she wished she could explain that.. You're right a lot of unanswered questions.. thanks for taking the time to read it.. I guess how ever the reader takes it.. is good enough for me.  Thanks again. ~heather Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Girl next door, This was very interesting and I think you were right to just leave it, as no one would ever really know what she did mean.. martyjo |
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Clang Member
since 2005-12-15
Posts 222 |
This makes me wish I could get in touch with old friends. Very powerful. Thankyou for sharing. Kat |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
Thank you! ~Heather~ Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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