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1slick_lady
Member Ascendant

since 2000-12-22

Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace

0 posted 2005-08-22 06:05 AM

While You Sleep
     At times…I turn things off. The world rushes by in a busy distraction. I need the quiet.
     I don’t mind the silence; in fact, it and I are old friends. Seems to me most people are afraid of the being alone or of the silence, they are afraid of what they might discover. Like the fact that they don’t even like who they are, so they go scrambling around searching for the noise to drown out… themselves. Some turn to the senselessness of the center of attention, others lose themselves in a crowd.
     Ever since I was a child and needed a quiet conversation I turned to writing. Ink sketched lone conversations. A conversation with blank pages to bleed out hurts and fears, to figure things out, to answer questions only I had the answers to. Openly saying them boldly on paper to reveal some truth needed to discover.
     There are many types of silent conversations. Like when I speak and no one is there or when they are there and no one listens. Tonight I have a silent conversation with you while you sleep. There are so many things I wish I could tell you. There are things about the present, the past, and of my fears and needs or of how I feel. And there is this pressing need for you to know all about it right now, even though you sleep.
     I lay back and watch you sleep, as I have many times lying next to you unable to sleep myself. I wonder where your night time dreams take you. You never speak of them yet; there is no keeping back your waking dreams of where you want your life to take you and the exact path that they should go. So here I am selfishly watching and wish I could pry open your heart to peek inside as I speak to it.
     Unknowingly, in my thoughts, my lips move. Glossed with silver silence at first, then I hear myself whispering, then wonder where these whispers might fall in this silence hoping in a skin chill knee jerk startle, that my words do not hit the floor with a crash as it is day break.

just some words cut out
from the diary of my heart

Larry C

Member Patricius

since 2001-09-10

Posts 10286
United States

1 posted 2005-08-22 11:10 AM

I'll be back. Probably tomorrow. It's fun to see you writing again.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

2 posted 2005-08-22 12:51 PM

It's a whole new bag isn't it? When you share your space with another, the desire to be as intimate with their thoughts like you are with yours becomes almost an obsession.

Great piece Helen, and trust me been that road a few times myself.

Larry C

Member Patricius

since 2001-09-10

Posts 10286
United States

3 posted 2005-08-22 09:46 PM

A candor that I never achieved. hmmm Makes me wonder. I like your night time musing. I've thought it before you but never wrote it. Yup I still love your writing.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

4 posted 2005-08-23 08:28 AM

God, Helen, that's me up there, no kidding.  Seems that I try to burn my thoughts into the sleeping mind.

And the silence?  Is heavenly - when alone.

I have and always will watch one I love sleeping, geez, I still do that to my son, poor kid, I wonder the same things, where he is at that moment.

There is a beauty in the sleeping.  it seems as if you can see right inside of their souls and it always makes me feel comforted. Seems easier to sort your thoughts too when they are asleep. get your bearings.

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