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nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines

0 posted 2005-03-05 09:07 PM


Under the Sign ( pt1)


It was out of necessity that she drove the distance seeking approval
even though it would be temporary at best.

Her mind always speaking to her, background noise to keep
insanity at a minimum, disbelieving the truth that lay before her.
One death, long and disturbing, hope dashed and a life changed forever.
That was her doom, her "now and then" of four walls and the emptiness that lay between.

She agreed to meet under the sign, not sure what he looked like, fearing she would mistake another for him. The diner, an old hangout, still looked the same from her teen years, as she drove into the parking lot, eyes remembering the shine of aluminum and its neon "Double T".

It was a favor she was doing, meeting him, not knowing though, that he was checking her out, less trusting of her than she was of him. She circled twice, not sure if she was waiting under the sign he mentioned since there were two, checking her watch noticing she arrived earlier than planned.

The unexpected early morning storm had not cancelled nor delayed her as she crossed state lines knowing the snow on the roads would be melting in the bright sunshine. Watching every car or van that entered the lot, an uneasiness set in.  What possessed her to meet this stranger? All the what ifs  began to fill her mind. She began to write into her notepad that she carried now to jot down thoughts that would occur when driving, since poetry had become a means of expression after her father died. To pass the time she began a poem for the stranger to give to their mutual friend.

A tap at her closed window startled her. Standing tall and in black was the stranger as he had described himself (minus the weapon he said he would be carrying when she asked how she could be sure it would be him and not someone else tall, dressed in black leather.)Uncertain whether to invite him into her car, she felt safer there than being alone with him in his. Wanting to understand the reason for meeting him and to know a bit about him, she unlocked the door and let him slide into the front seat.

(* not sure this will be any good as I don't usually write prose and have limited vocabulary skills...comes with working with too young of children most of my life  



"Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more, it is willing to see less."
(Will Moss)

© Copyright 2005 Wynter Bliss - All Rights Reserved
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
1 posted 2005-03-06 12:53 PM


Not sure if this is any good??

Maureen,  you have sparked your muse up there, you have met the challenge quite well indeed and now let your muse continue this meeting . . .

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
2 posted 2005-03-06 08:57 AM


It's good. It held my interest and made me want to know more about the characters. Good job!!
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2005-03-06 05:15 PM


I'm tickled to see you here, mo.

I knew you could do this--I enjoyed this initial introduction to the story, and I'm hoping to see some use of dialogue in part II?

pretty please?

It's great to see this place kicking.

and *hugs* just because I know the switch from poetry to prose can induce migraines at times.

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