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A home without a wall, |
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A home without a wall, |
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| Passions in Prose |
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The Tragedy of Bacon |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
From the kitchen window, he could be seen. “He’s got her, he’s got her!” The freshman ran out the door trying to catch the unleashed culprit, but it was too late. The dog had the pet bantam by the neck, raising his front legs and tossing her in the air like a ball. As the screaming girl advanced, he dropped the bird, pivoted, and ran away cowardly. By that time, her tough, fourteen year old brother was on the scene. “Dumb dog, he’s going to the pound! Stupid mutt;he needs to die! This isn’t the first chicken he’s killed! He needs to die!" The boy gently cupped the small bantam in his large hands and took her into the house, ranting hysterically at the predator as he handed the bird to his mother. While his dad got a shoebox for it, his mother found tissues to support the pet’s neck. Now, it was so unlike the conditions in July, when the bird had been an attraction at the county fair, laying her small eggs and strutting her zebra striped body around in her cage. Today, Bacon’s eyes were no more than a slit, remaining motionless even when the children called her name and tried to pet. Then, for a moment, the tough skinned boy found a ray of hope, forgetting about the savage dog. “She’s fine! Look! She’s moving her head a little. Oh look, Mom, Dad! She’s going to be ok!” Living on a farm, I had come to know the “death stretch,” the moment when the animal pushes its neck and head with all its might. I’d seen it with cattle, goats, and sadly, our pet hen. I questioned whether it would be best to feign optimism, or, to shower doubt on the boy who adamantly denied the possibility of death. With her head supported by the rim of the box, she lifted her mouth, silently opening and closing it like a baby bird. Was it Death she hungered? Almost emotionally stunned, I put her box in the garage, tucking the tissues around her in attempt to make her a little more comfortable. I could no longer invade her privacy or allow my children to see her unkind ending. [This message has been edited by miscellanea (11-29-2004 07:59 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2004 Cathy Farmer - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Wow. Just...wow. "With her head supported by the rim of the box, she lifted her mouth, silently opening and closing it like a baby bird. Was it Death she hungered?" I saw it all so vividly. Thank you. Lizzie. "Time has told me not to ask for more, one day our ocean will find its shore" ~Nick Drake |
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RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
What an image. A city-boy, I'm unfamiliar with the "death stretch." There's food for poetry there for sure. Is it that "thinking" part of a being trying to leave the betrayal of its body? And were those moving lips a wordless chant? Intriguing. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
That last gasp for air... I've seen it, too... Well done, Cathy! |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
ESP and R.S. Wells, It seems you picked up on the part that left the greatest impression upon me. It did seem like the hen was trying to communicate or chant something to us. I'm glad I could share a little bit of the farm. I'd rather be sharing something about the Baby-sitters Club, where a maternal cow tends to babysit the young calves, than the death part, but it all happens... Thanks for taking time to read my writing. I look forward to reading your prose. miscellanea |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Sunshine, Yes, the last gasp for air... This is the thing I like seeing least while living on a farm. Bet it was your least favorite, too! Thanks for the compliment. It means alot. I'm trying to write a longer story at home, and rarely get out these days. Any feedback on my writing is really appreciated, as I'm not pumping out other stories very quickly! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Don't worry about "pumping out" stories...especially if they are within you and about what you know and that which is familiar to you. This one hit me with some peculiarity only because my father wanted to give us a farm life so much that it ate at him, and in California, unless you were quite rich, you had to do "farm life" on the fringe... We raised chickens, roosters, rabbits, and in an area or two, had a horse and bull here and there, as the landlord leased out the extraneous land...but dad...yes, he wanted to give us the life he had known in the midwest. But he taught me how to take care of myself...and while there are several folk who know much more than I....give me a small hatchet and a chicken and I can have dinner up and ready in two hours... with handpicked green beans, corn on the cob, plum jam and homemade baked bread on the side.  Yes, Cathy, I know a little of it...enough to know more, and get by well... |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Sunshine, Does this mean you're hosting PIPTAlk's Christmas dinner? I'm licking my chops already! We have a playfarm rather than a comercial farm operation. I don't know how much longer we'll be able to do it. As you are aware, it is an expensive hobby and time consuming. When I was young, my family farmed a little more extensively, but my hubby is a city boy. He treats our animals like pets. You should hear him call the cows! "Here, Girls! Here, Girls!" They come running! He loves the life, as do my children do. Looking forward to that dinner.... cathy [This message has been edited by miscellanea (12-01-2004 11:49 PM).] |
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milkweed Junior Member
since 2004-09-07
Posts 42fields of gold |
This was amazingly written. I grew up on a farm, too, but it seems death is everywhere these days. You must be a really sensitive person because that is what comes through your writing. |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Milkweed, I really like your choice of names! Yes, your guess is right--I'm prone to sensitivity with a mixture of realism. I'm glad to hear of others who have a similiar childhood background. The days of children growing up on farms is becoming less and less it seems. There are so many experiences a farm offers that can be gotten no where else. Yet, the city and suburban areas have great perks, too! Thanks for responding, Milkweed. Glad you enjoyed. miscellanea |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Yup, I watched my dad linger for almost seven days. By his side almost continually. Life indeed has some hard lessons. But it teaches well. Nice write. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Larry, I am sorry to hear of your loss, but it sounds like you're making the best of difficult times. Take care, my friend. Hope you have a great week. misc'a |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
mixcellanea I loved this story...it is so real. I've never lived on a farm, but my heart and arms has held many an animal and bird...also, your title drew me..because I love bacon! Thanks for this enjoyable read. |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Martie, Thank you for your kind response. It may have seemed real because it was. I wrote this because I was worried how my son would accept our dog afterward, but apparently he has forgiven the Buckster. (I just needed to let out stress.) Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks again, Martie. cathy |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
Hey you, good to see you here. I've missed you. So are you all moved now? Love the write. I've never lived on a farm but the area I'm at is a bit countryish. On the other side of one fence the neighbors have a pasture of cows and on another side are tons of chickens. Chickens that wander over to our yard. Constantly. And I think we need crossing guards sometimes because they don't understand what a road is either. But it's not all bad. I do have to keep my dog fenced in, though. Nice as she is, she still licks her chops for chickens. Happened once and I felt terrible... I forgave the dog... and made dozens of cookies for the neighbors and apologized profusely. It really is hard. I know the how that goes... Always, Alyssa He was a man of sorrows ...I am a girl of tears. [This message has been edited by GG (12-07-2004 11:30 AM).] |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Alyssa, All has settled down, but I'm working now and the time just seems to dwindle. I miss you, too, and would like to spend more time on the blue pages. I'll try to stop by a little more frequently when I can grab a spare minute. W We keep our dog tied, too, but he escaped in transition to the house! Thanks for stopping by. It was very thoughtful of you... cathy |
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merlynh Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 411deer park, wa |
This reminds of a friend that I once knew who had some problems with neighbor dogs killing his chickens. Though he handled the problem a little different because he felt the chickens were livestock. I find it far too easy to love animals and wouldn't have the heart to raise livestock. This story really hits home about how I feel about other living things. I'm going to have to stop here. I'm starting to feel guilty about all the frozen meat I have in the freezer. Now that you got me started I suddenly realize I'm such a hypocrite. No different than that dog in your story; a meat hungry crazed animal not able to control his appetite for raw flesh; only I prefer mine cooked. I’m only glad humans are on the top of the food chain. You might have considered feeding the dog some chicken flavored dog food. Poor thing just likes the taste of chicken. You know the other white meat.  And there you go again inspiring me to write another story. I'll send you a copy when I get it done. |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Absolutely beautiful writing Cathy. You caught a moment in time of all living things, and gave it a voice. Lived this story, and will share it with my girls when I next see them. There is definitely a life lesson in this, and a extremely good one. |
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Dautz Write Member
since 2004-11-16
Posts 96 |
merlyn, Didn't you know the meat you get in the store is manmade, filled with additives, steroids, perservatives or what have you that give it a meaty appearance and texture? Now that I've fed you this "bull", enjoy your next steak! |
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Dautz Write Member
since 2004-11-16
Posts 96 |
Whoops! accidently sent this again. |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Not bad writing. It's smooth and it flows. But some parts are a little awkward. For example, the boy is "yelling at the predator." This is kinda weird in that it makes it seem like the dog is nearby. Also, the dog was not acting as predator, but rather was playing with the bird. Maybe the boy should just be ranting hysterically....? 2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2 |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
fractal, I agree with you about the word choice. I knew it was wrong when I wrote it, but my purpose was to ease the day's stress more than for an actual exercise in writing. It was a pretty rough day around the house and hard to grab a private moment to write. Thanks for your insight! miscellanea |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
C, this was really good....I wasn't just saying that. Very, very good writing.  .....jo |
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Trillium
since 2001-03-09
Posts 12098Idaho, USA |
I felt like I was there, watching this scene unfold. So true to life on the farm! We had a dog who was a chicken chaser and would try and get into the chicken pen. When he did it was pandemonium! Betty Lou Betty Lou Hebert |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Good read my friend and it hit home with me in many ways. We had this Muscovy Duck - actually this big drake was only one of quite a few - that died when we cut his head off (he was Christmas dinner) - or at least we thought he died - the doggone thing kicked out of my young hands and the last we saw of him, he was disappearing over the trees...but that's a tale I might tell in here someday too, so don't want to give too much away. Enjoyed this... jwesley |
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wllz.on.ice Junior Member
since 2004-09-07
Posts 35the united kingdom. |
A good read, but, i learn nothing. It made me laugh more than anything. |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
jo, Trillium, JWesley, I'm glad you can we relate. Thanks for responding... I appreciate. wllz. on ice, I suppose it wasn't meant as a learning opportunity, but more as a vent for me. I'm wondering what you perceived as funny. I'm guessing that it is because chickens aren't "supposed" to be pets! Normally, they aren't, but this chicken was a well-traveled little hen, riding in a van 1,000 miles to surprise my son, who has a very small egg operation. (It was kind of a joke on my family by southern relatives.) In any case, we came to love the silly little bird... miscellanea |
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wllz.on.ice Junior Member
since 2004-09-07
Posts 35the united kingdom. |
Living in England means there is less of everything, and thats true with animals aswell. Chickens come in wrapping and they are cooked, dogs come in collars with leads, and not the other way around  I found the scene rather amusing, I could picture the dog with the chicken in its mouth, which oddly to me, would be funny  Its a good read as i said But I love inspirational writings ;o |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
wllz.on.ice, Thanks for filling me in... It's interesting to see how cultures differ. Our little operation, if you even call it that, is atypical. In the US, the time of the family farm is dying, replaced by corporate farming and importation of meats, etc. I appreciate your feedback. I can imagine this to be impractical and humorous now that you mention it. Enjoyed your response... miscellanea |
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