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A Moments Clear Image For Forever
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A Moments Clear Image For Forever |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace 
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A Moments Clear Image For Forever *for jerry…who’s silence, has given me the gift of allowing my imagination to run wild I remember the events intricately of that night, as if it had just happened. The hour was around 11:00 and the sky had melted to velvet darkness. The moon was bee waxed knife thick cut quartered but brilliant as a wicked torch. You had driven streets unknown to me, just as you had spoon fed me music from bands that were friends to you but strangers to me, introducing them with some doubts of insecurity of the taste being bitter of the heavy. But it was one more edge of you, which you shared with me. The bar you felt unfettered and liquid in was closed, so much for the glamour of small towns that rolled up their streets at the stroke of 10:59. Once again we were back in the car, you chauffeuring me to the unfamiliar. The car was now in the hands of the night and its fingers spread as we drove to be gently given to the wind. We drifted to ruffled air on the beach, where it came to fan the salty water. I like the beach, be it day or night. It is the one place I feel as if I truly belong. I somehow find myself there… being so small within the vastness. I do not belong in this world I live in. I am not exactly sure why that is, but it is true. Maybe it is because I have too many scars. Scars that I am afraid of, and I only know of and scars the world sees, as they stare and never say a word but point at, with invisible fingers, or pass me by looking at the ground or right through me without any recognition at all. I do not know why humans are like that, that they can not look past what they deem as ugly to see that there is something there. It is not about worthiness either---worthy is there---it is that disappointment blocks vision, and without vision, there is true blindness. I could have lived a lifetime, in that moment on the beach, and maybe I did. All I know is this…something that night changed me. The unseasonable December had us venturing out to the salty edge, where tears of the earth fell on land, in a quick tide rushing laughter where before had been pain. The breeze was swift, but nowhere to be found was a chill. Clouds were tucked away and stars were swarming fireflies littering the mirrored ocean, the sky, like melted down candles with wicks still fiercely flaming. The tide played a waltzing lullaby of the gulf that ached from its pull away from its sandy lover loudly. Our steps in the sand were like walking in wet mud, grabbing at the soles of our shoes in teasing. Hands from two formed one, as fingers entwined like a web fixed to a wall. The night was such that the whole dictionary could not describe it, as we found our way to where Columbus started his journey to prove that it wasn’t the edge of ending…but the beginning. Fingers slipped and one became two again. I found myself a step or two in front of you, and then I heard your voice and turned to you and saw a flash. I don’t know where the light came from whether it was inside you or around you but there it was and all movement and sound suddenly ceased. When I looked up I saw your face. Yes, I had seen it a thousand times before and a thousand times since that night. But that night, I looked at it. In the stillness I saw it. And I think, I really saw it for the first time. Your face, your beautiful face. Did you know that you have a beautiful face? And before that moment I had never realized how beautiful it was. Every inch was illuminated by the moon and serene eyes were the deep pool that dropped to a bottomless sweet soul and in them for once I found truth. The flash that was before me became an instant picture, which I carry in the front pocket of my mind, as a translucent hologram. That even if I never see you again, shall remain with me forever. The water that night flickered with the appearance of diamonds floating freely on black silk, dancing to show every burning facet of fire within every side shown, but your face outshone any of those watery diamonds. No matter my mistakes of uselessness, in inadequacy of things I fear, and self sabotage in the precious price of punishing myself from happiness to be in arms length…of never. I now have a clear picture of the sight of beauty…forever. |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Enjoyed this, wish it could have been me, But I don’t have that beautiful face, Lucky guy he is Gloom |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
hard to find . . . that kind of trust "look into my eyes see if you are there" I enjoy your prose too e |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Kept in the front pocket of your mind and now mine. How I love your mind. I'll love always your writing.  If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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