Part 10 - A Personal Manifesto

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Passions in Prose

Part 10 - A Personal Manifesto

Endlessecho
Member

since 2003-09-05

Posts 398
I live within myself

0 posted 2004-02-13 11:40 AM

PART TEN

I sit at my desk at work.  My mind never stops working.  Listening to music, typing words, planning my schedule, reworking ideas, wondering about friends all crowd and swirl together in my head.

I’m so tired.  My eyes are blurred and heavy, but I know I’ll wake up when I get in the car.  It looks beautiful outside, but I know it’s freezing cold; below 0º.  Too cold to snow they said, but it snowed today.  My car is covered with it and I bet it’s frozen onto the windshield.  I’ll have to scrape it off and hope that my car starts.

I remember the cars we had when I was little.  We had one that was rusted out on the bottom, so that my sister and I could lift up the rug in the backseat and see the road flying by.  Why did that thrill us so much?  If we weren’t so young and ignorant, we would have realized what that meant.  We would have been upset at how poor we were.  But sorry, we were too busy having fun and enjoying our own world of imagination to be upset.

Kids don’t realize that you’re supposed to be angry when you’re stranded on the side of the road.  We just knew that you had to hide your giggles because Dad was angry.  To us it was an adventure and we didn’t understand why they got so upset.  I remind myself of that when I get stressed about my car, being stranded, or running late.  I remember that I don’t want to be like that.  Remember what it was like as a child.  How did you look at it then?  You were smart enough then to know that worrying doesn’t help except to make things worse, but I guess you lose some of that logic as you get older.  So, you laughed and your sister made jokes to calm you because Dad and Mom were fighting and now when things go wrong, you get angry.  You want to yell, punch, scream, hyperventilate, whatever.  But, instead you laugh.  Or at least smile or sigh and accept.  You just take it as another day, and if you’re feeling especially good or nostalgic, then you take it as an adventure.  And you think about the car with the upside-down sunroof.

skyshine

Member Elite

since 2002-02-07

Posts 3058
Beneath the northern stars

1 posted 2004-02-22 11:34 PM

I like that--the upside-down sunroof! There are some good thoughts in this, how we end up the way we didn't want to, and we have to try and change and it's never easy. Good work.

~sky

Hold on, if you feel like letting go
Hold on, it gets better than you know....
~Good Charlotte

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