»
Main Forums
»
Passions in Prose
»
Bleeding Darkness
| Passions in Prose |
|
Bleeding Darkness |
|
Greeneyes  
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind 
|
Dear Donald, The sky is snowing, but I do not take notice. I have a dull ache and long memories of bitterness, longing, and abandonment that are far more chilling than mere flakes of ice. I do not remember your face, your voice, or your eyes; maybe you pretended to smile, while I walked my journey of loneliness. Once, while you were inside my mind, I tried to forgive you, I tried to understand, offering my self some piece of insurance I would be the survivor I needed to be. I even found myself worrying about you, thinking about you, and I wept, pretending, like you, to be someone I was not. I have not cried in years, but need to, as poems of tears and sadness never work. They cannot bring relief to eyes needing cleansed of such dust as you left in mine. I promise myself, tomorrow, I will write of you, bring hate to my mind and heart; can I have one second of my own happiness? {I laughed} I am nothing like that, I give freely, and love with open arms, no conditions, but I know with you, my feelings would be different. My inner self-wants to see you desperate, lost, alone something you must feel, sleep with, letting it seep slowly into the red of your heart, a cancer of blackness & meaningless fragments. Are you surprised I can feel this way? Did you really wonder if I needed you? It's midnight, it always feels like midnight, it crawls deep inside twisting my emotions, I am often reminded while I try to sleep; of fear and self defeat how it really felt to be locked away inside my self I wonder if you knew the truth? The abuse I suffered from another man’s hand. Would it bother you? Would you weep for me? Would you taste your own salt, let it sting your eyes? Scar your selfish soul? You died in 1986 of heart failure. I did not fall to my knees weeping, nor go to your grave and place flowers in memory; I forgave you for leaving me, for not opening your heart to see mine. I cannot bring my lips to say I love you, nor my heart to feel hate. I rest easier knowing I live, no longer, in your eyes bleeding darkness. Peaceful Now, Lauri Ann November 13, 2003 i carry your heart with me i am never without it you are what a moon has always meant sky of sky the wonder that keeps stars apart- e.e.cummings [This message has been edited by Greeneyes (11-13-2003 05:33 PM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2003 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
oh YESSSSSSSS...me girlie wrote prose... I will be back to inhale this later when I can savor it.  Words break into splinters on the pages I write |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
There are some things that take time to do. I have noted in your writing for a long time that you were wanting to do something more, and this is it. You are a mistress of free verse - and it suits you very well. You are about to master prose, and that, too, will not only suit you, but heal you. Write on. |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Some write because the words just come...because the muse speaks and the pen gives voice. Some write the things they cannot put into spoken words...some write because its the only way they know how to express all that they carry; Writing for the cathartic, healing that comes with the release of the words. Your writing has brought you to this point because you are both wise enough and strong enough to know that in order to fly forward, we have to take a last look back to be able to let go. I do believe I just felt the breeze from the flutter of your wings.  [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (11-13-2003 11:31 PM).] |
||
|
Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Lauren, I remember writing a letter to my Father who died last year, that he never read. The healing power of that letter was the beginning of a new path of freedom for me as this will be for you I suspect. You are wise in saying, quote:Funny isn't it? I think we tend to cling onto that dream of what it could have been, and when we finally realize it was never there to begin with, then we are on a road to freedom. I think JM said it well, as my motto has become "Butterflies Are Meant To Be Free", so welcome to the flutterby club. You did this write with feeling, style, and your typical grace. Now let's have more please  You fly well!Try to make time to listen to |
||
|
Patricia Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160Missouri |
My God, the tears are falling endlessly on this side of the screen. I praise Him for allowing you this. My prayer...that you shall rest peacefully, my dear friend. May God now allow the healing to begin for you. And your words, these words, I know will not leave me. God bless you. Patricia |
||
|
Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
L~ I have no words, your spirit soars your writing has become a delightful gift to all who are blessed to be able to see it. I hope we see this type of offering from you more gal, it suits you very well. Luv ya. |
||
|
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Through misty eyes I offer a wink of understanding, and am so happy to see you offering us your heart in prose. It's good to let things like this go, in tears and in words, I hope you find peace and healing. namaste, heart hugs Kacy |
||
|
Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
This took a lot for me to write, as I know I still have bitterness for my biological father....I really appreciate the kind, warm, heartfelt replies....they are more then touching....Thank you... ~~~~~~~~~ And Karilea~ again thank you for the gentle nudge....I really needed to do this, and hope to do more... HUGSSSSS All Lauren~ I had a dream last night |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
