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Connel

Senior Member

since 2002-11-04

Posts 736
Florida, USA

0 posted 2003-03-10 05:32 PM

Im so sick and tired of nothing. The time I wake up, its the same thing. It feels as if poetry is the only thing that I like anymore. The world is just passin me by and Im missing my entre childhood. My family, never happy, my life, down the crapper. I just dont feel like I used to when I was little. So happy, and so daring. Me and my brother, playing with little toy cars. I remember as If it were yesterday. I just dont seem to be happy. Dont get me wrong, I love them to death, Im just.. I cant explain how I feel. The pain that builds up, and cant controll, the love, that feels has part but still there. But then I get sad, and think I dont love them, but I do, I do. I want to be with them forever, and never lose them. I want to be with my family til death. But my father, just starting to do more. But not getting any happier, or younger. The man has grown old, and is no longer young.

I wish I was young again, waiting for mom to come home, when she enetrs, I run to her like a dog waggin his tail meeting you at the front door. But I no longer feel that way, my life just feels empty. Maybe it comes with the teen years. But I wish I knew. The anger that builds up in me, I hold til it fills, then it bursts out like something never seen. I cant help it, and I wish I could. I try to be happy, But It just seems like its too hard. When Im out, and dont think, and I laugh, and have fun. Im the most fun loving person, without worries, but when Im back, things change. I dont know why. Then, I think back, and I get so deppressed about what I said, then I think back to the happy days, the younger days. And how they no longer exist.

I miss them days, Wish I could go back, But it wont happen, its just god way, of making us grow out of this old place, and start our own life.

Read ^ there, because you are reading the wrong part!

Amara
Member

since 2003-02-23

Posts 158
East of the moon, west of the sun.

1 posted 2003-03-12 06:47 PM

Hunn, you're not alone. Just this week alone is makign me crazy. Life has a way of yanking itself from beneath you feet, planting you face down on the floor, then settling back on top of you like a sack of weights. Those moments when the weight on your shoulders seems big enough to topple you over. Just hang in there, and talk to people. Anyone who'll listen, sweetie, you need to get it out. And remember, you're not alone.

Every heart has hidden treasures...a secret wish, a silent dream, and a cherished love. [Unknown]

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

2 posted 2003-03-15 06:54 AM

Connel,
you sound like one of those people who is smiling on the outside and all crying on the inside, heng in there life does get better ot we get smarter I'm not sure which.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown

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