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Never Friends
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Never Friends |
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Jaime
Registered
MemberPosts 250 |
I have no thoughts to hang onto; my mind simply toils itself tightly until my forehead is a heavy steel door trying to keep the pressure from exploding out. I went to a movie. I had tea with my friends. I finished my book and started another one. I decided to take up French again. I ran on a treadmill at the gym for a while. Then I came home and sat down on the couch without a single thought except that I wished that I had one. He joked that he couldn’t draw me nude because I can never sit still. I thought of explaining that sometimes everything stops. I thought of describing my fear that someday my brain will go away and never come back. That maybe one day I’d be just another avocado collecting dust on the couch in the living room. I didn’t though. I think I laughed. That’s how he knew something was wrong that night. When the stillness seeped into my eye sockets and down to my toes he asked me what was on my mind. Surely something was, right? There was something... “I just don’t want to be replaced.” But by the time the words tripped out over my lips he was already very upset with me and I could only watch them hit the floor and scatter into pieces instantly like fireworks in the sky. Only this was my honesty, it was our mistrust, and it was not the fourth of July. There was nothing to celebrate because we were not free. I began to plan my escape. I’d leave them both. I’d take a plane to Ireland and just lay on the ground until I became a part of it. Until the moss, roots, and seeds grew around, over, and on me. Until tiny bugs crawled under me as if I were a rock and the wind chipped away at the smooth covering of my flesh. And by then, I would have no use for love or hate or mistrust. Just then I realized that he hadn’t spoken or indicated any notion to speak. It was time to leave, but moving felt foreign and unnatural.. my joints like rusty bolts that wouldn’t budge. When I finally did turn my head I caught a glimpse of myself in the full-length mirror against the wall next to my dresser. It appeared to me that I must have aged 20 years for every one year I have spent loving him (and hating him). And I thought that surely when people say that they want someone to grow old with this is not what they really mean. Even my heart slips out and hides itself under my bed, behind the clothes in my closet, and between the pillows on my bed. She remembers the prints of everyone that has held her and she will not allow him to ever hold her again. Sometimes I’d kill to have met as friends. Shiva went on break now look at how much it's gonna take to make this place a space where we can breathe. [This message has been edited by Jaime (02-02-2003 09:08 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Jaime - All Rights Reserved | |||
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SPIRIT Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745California Desert |
I thoroughly enjoyed this read. To me , it appears very well done.  |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Loved it...James |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Jaime, Welcome to Passions. I hope that you like it here as much as I do. I love that you are writing prose. You're good at it. I especially liked the line: _____________________________________________ it was not the fourth of July. There was nothing to celebrate because we were not free. _____________________________________________ Peace. And keep writing.  If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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jjote Senior Member
since 2002-12-25
Posts 1088Ontario, Canada |
I'm also new here. Just found out, prose can also contain so much imagery (and not just poems). Yours have lots of it too. I'll keep reading.. |
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