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Succubus
Member
since 2002-09-30
Posts 82
Canada, Ontario

0 posted 2002-10-05 11:37 AM


Freedom Of Sight

He's sovereignty itself, with the power of a monarch.He's distinctive and charming, and yet he is sightless.Whence came this man with such fair garments?Such prosperity?Whose uncultivated tastes shows evidence of a deprived love.His hungry soul increases his insanity that speaks so lively and begs for absolution.There's a stockade in his heart which keeps him unaffected by pleasure or pain; he shows little emotion.His eyes show a conflagration, a destructive fire that can only be surmounted by his lovelorn nature.His lips, and attraction, a fixed icon that turns leering into an obtrusively conspicuous crime.When they move, he looks for answers by tinkering with adverbs and by using irrefutable arguments.Unfortunately, this being lacks reverence.His unquestionable eminence and distinguishing characteristics are destroyed by the irreconcilable differences he has with the world.His asymmetrically arranged fingernails are imperfect and irregular; this is irrelevant when compared to his highbrow.His body itself is an unexplored vision of something unspeakably sensual and stirring; ironically attractive in a graceful and delicate way.His coal black hair strikes the eyes evoking a vivacious feeling.This unpretentious, incorruptible and yet incredulous and pompous man, managed to make me an irrepressibly lugubrious person.I am now restrained and infactuated by the feelings I suffer from.Although I can only see what he decides to show me, and comprehend only what he lets me, I can truly say that my scrambled feelings do not show felicities, and yet, he should be felicitated; for stealing my heart.Until I am acknowledged, and this declaration of guilt corroborated, my body will be forever obsolete.

[This message has been edited by Succubus (10-06-2002 12:32 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Andy Salvador - All Rights Reserved
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
1 posted 2002-10-05 12:08 PM


A dark force has captured you?

"Although I can only see what he decides to show me, and comprehend only what he lets me, I can truly say that my scrambled feelings do not show felicities, and yet, he should be felicitated; for stealing my heart."
Be careful to whom you give that much power!

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

2 posted 2002-10-07 12:38 PM


Andy,
I really enjoy this drawing of a man
gone blind and swollen, lost,
with power.

And the girl,
who also feels
obsolete.

Unfortunately, this is Prose. So I'm going to move this over to Passions in Prose (you can find it from the Main Forums).

If you have any questions, do not neglect to e-mail me at b_squirrel@hotmail.com.

fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

3 posted 2002-10-08 12:25 PM


My goodness.  This was indeed a rather interesting, yet in some ways frightening, piece of writing.  I like your presentation style, in which you have centred the text as though it were a poem.  It adds to the often poetic diction used in your prose.  

Your frank style demonstrates a bravery I've never myself been able to master.  You are unafraid to reveal the true feelings of your protagonists, despite how much you may have to dig into your own knowledge and perhaps even your personal experience.  

This was a great read and one that I'll be sure to put in my library.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

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