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Conversation Not Meant For Me
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Conversation Not Meant For Me |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace 
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Conversation Not Meant For Me Obligations take us places we normally wouldn’t go, and doing things we do not want to do. But there we are, doing the right thing, if we want to or not. I found myself sitting in the waiting area of a hospital surgery room with enough paper and pens to write two books and enough on my mind to fill an ocean. And so it began, the wait from hell. Blood, lust and tears flew from my pen with amazing vigor and I looked at the sheets wondering who had written the words. Time has no concept in places like this, and neither do the people sitting at the front desk as teary eyed companions sit on the edges of seats with needles of their own flexing taunt muscles in chairs handed down from prisons that had voted out electric chairs years before. Here I was, glued to my own chair as others played musical chairs to telephones checking in at homes where others waited. An older couple shuffling into the room abruptly disrupted my near perfect writing silence. He was a tall man in what looked to be in his eighties. His hair was longer than I expected of his age, past the back of his collar, neatly combed and the most beautiful white I had ever seen. When I saw him I thought to myself…Moses? Not out of disrespect but he was what my mind had said Moses looked like. The woman with him had the same illuminating glow to her hair. She was small in comparison to his size and I smiled thinking of my own size almost the same petite. Is this I, at seventy or eighty? He in his mannerly way took her to the desk to check in for her surgery. She signed and promised to pay what was most likely the last of the money they had in the world. I tried to distract myself with the best friends I ever had, words. But the couple must have been hard of hearing for they talked a little above the crowd and echoed in every corner of the room. It was not annoying; I just didn’t want to hear their business, for it was none of mine. They went louder, the room grew quieter. At the desk, they were Elizabeth and Ralph Green. He was eighty-four and she was eighty-two and a half, Ralph laughed at the half and winked at his bride. He said they had been married for sixty-one years. Sixty-one years? I said sixty-one years in my mind for about sixty one times and it floored me. Ralph brought Elizabeth to the same row of seats I was in, two down and over facing me. Ralph left Elizabeth and went back to the desk to hand over personal information and insurance cards. He scurried back quickly as not to leave her too long alone. I looked up and smiled and saw Elizabeth was crying, so I quickly went back to my writing, looking as busy as I could not to impose. Ralph took her hand in his and held it so tenderly and sweet. Elizabeth sobbed a little louder and I had to cross my legs the other way just to move body language away from them. She said, “Honey, lets go home.” He leaned in closely to her, looked her straight in the eye, “Now Liz, we have been all through this. We made this decision together, just as most of our decisions. You know if you do not do this, you will be gone soon.” “Ralph, I’m afraid. You know Dr. Butler said the surgery is a big life risk too, at my age, I have changed my mind,” she sobbed. Ralph reached for the woman he loved, pulled her in the cleft of his arm and kissed her cheek. He ran his fingers through her hair like she was his prized child. He told her everything would be all right. This was the best hospital in the state and Dr. Butler was the best doctor in the nation. They talked of their past. She complained she must look a fright with her hair down and no rouge or power on and no lipstick. He told her she was still the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He must have told her sixty one thousand times how much he loved her and how wonderful his life was with her in it and he was sorry for all he had ever done to disappoint her or to hurt her. He told her she was all he ever needed. He spoke of all the joy they had shared and how rich he was for having her. I saw her face turn from fear to contentment. Glowingly, his love, shined straight through her. The tears flowed from me like some dam burst in a New Orleans rainstorm as I sat listening to this lifetime love story. They didn’t notice, I was no part of their conversation. As he kissed her frail lips, her name was called and he walked with her till they told him he could go no further. He told them, “Take care of her please.” “ I will be here waiting for you, Liz, when you get done.” Ralph came back and sat in the same exact seat as before but this time he was about seven inches shorter, hunched over and crying. He had not shed one tear in front of her being her sheer strength, but now he was drenched in his own salt. Mumbling quietly. I couldn’t hear anything he was saying. Suddenly I heard him. He said, “God.” “ Please God, do not take her. Do not take her from me! For if you do I will surely parish.” I felt this incredible heat pass through me and I had to get out of there as fast as I could. I rushed to gather my things, my emotions were taking over and all I could see was red and I had to get as far away from this as I could. Ralph and I stood at the same time he headed out one door. I was running from that room like a deer white tailed to greenery. I almost slipped on the linoleum in my heeled sandals running out of that room trying to get into the Florida sun to bring some breath back into my lungs. But when I reached the sun my tear stained face burnt me like cinders. I sat there on that bench alone forever it seemed like. Paralyzed in thought. And in prayer and cried. I cried for them. I cried for Elizabeth and Ralph and wondered silently. And I cried for me too, for I wanted to be loved like that. I’m not disappointed, I never expected anything from you. |
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| © Copyright 2002 Helen Chambers - All Rights Reserved | |||
skyshine 
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058Beneath the northern stars |
Wow. Is that a true story? It's really powerful. They have an incredible love. Well done, Helen.  --Beth P.S. I like your signature. Howl at the stars, whisper when you're sleeping, I'll be there to hold you, I'll be there to stop the chills and all the weeping. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
What a wonderful slice of life...I also would like to know if it's from real life. One suggestion: paragraphs..it would make it easier to read.  I look forward to reading more prose from you Helen. |
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bslicker
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321state of mind |
You were loved like that. You are loved like that. And will always be loved like that. Forever........ just ask me... Bernie A smile a day keeps the world in smile's. Bernie Slicker [This message has been edited by bslicker (10-21-2002 09:03 AM).] |
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majnu
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088SF Bay Area |
ha! and you seemed surprised by what I said. this truly touched me. i think we all want that at the deepest level, regardless of whether we admitt it or not. your description of the event is impeccable. i saw through your eyes; rather than feel that you were a character I was you. |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
A beautifully told story Helen, and the perfect title. I once wrote a poem about my parents who were married 50 years, before my father died..and how my mother showed me after the funeral, a love letter she carried, from my father, for 50 years... the night before my brother was born...It was a moment I have yet to share again with her and I told her the same.."I don't think I will ever be loved like that." This touched me and not many stories do. You are a fine writer. M |
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