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Terry
| Passions in Prose |
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Terry |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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A punch in the face does not hurt. Healing hurts like hell, though. The physical reality of trauma is much kinder than the psyche's inept management of pain. In the physical realm, there is only so much pain that the body will tolerate before it shuts down the brain, drawing down the curtain of conciousness, granting reprieve from the acknowledgement of pain. An emotional blow, however, echoes internally, raging and roiling for a way out--through the physical. I know. This is sloppy thinking and convenient logic on my part, but sometimes I need an easy breeze of rationalization. Sometimes I think rationalizations are a psychological equivilant to passing out. And then, sometimes I don't think at all. Sometimes, I just pass out. Sometimes it's a damned vacation to do so. It's not even my pain. I don't own it. I just think of her every time we drive across that bridge. I remember her, blonde and blue-eyed, and I can see her walking the pedestrian ramp, tall and confident. She was beautiful, and smart too. Smart enough to know that a jump from that shallow bridge into that industrial canal would not kill her. She was smart enough, and dumb enough, to jump, where she would be sure to land on the concrete. I close my eyes now when we pass that way. I tried to look once, but I could see the condensation on the metal, and I thought I could see her--and even worse? I thought she could see me, riding past the pain thoughtlessly. I guess I just keep closing my eyes. Sometimes the view is worse that way. They, whoever "they" are, found her divorce papers in the back pocket of her jeans, bundled neatly around the picture of her baby daughter. "They" also closed the pedestrian ramp on that particular bridge. They said she was troubled. They said it was a tragedy. They thought it was over. They were wrong. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Uh Oh - the story muse is traveling all over....will you be doling this out daily, weekly or what? |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Wow! This is powerful...it says so much with so much feeling, with so few words. It's like a punch in the stomach. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
It's not even my pain. I don't own it. I just think of her every time we drive across that bridge. I remember her, blonde and blue-eyed, and I can see her walking the pedestrian ramp, tall and confident. She was beautiful, and smart too. ========================== I close my eyes now when we pass that way. I tried to look once, but I could see the condensation on the metal, and I thought I could see her--and even worse? I thought she could see me, riding past the pain thoughtlessly. I guess I just keep closing my eyes. Sometimes the view is worse that way. =================================== See the lines I bolded?...read the first one....then see how the second one is proven wrong by the first ...and by the whole intend of this piece...theres nothing "thoughtless" about the way you feel her pain and the loss of her...and you wrote this with so much impact we feel it. More prose from you please  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Thanks for the input and support. It's just a rough sketch though...don't know what got into me last night, (maybe a blood test is in order?  )I'll try to come back to write the rest, and read some of the wonderful prose that I have been missing! Love and ta-ta for now! |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Your initial statement about pain seems to fit well with this piece. Your frank portrayal of the event is quite well done. "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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