C. I.ntelligece A.nywhere?

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Kaneix
Junior Member

since 2001-03-17

Posts 15

0 posted 2001-03-17 03:33 PM

'C. I.ntelligence A.nywhere?'

'Nope!'

'Situation normal then?'

'Yup!'

'Can I destabalize some regime today Chief, can I, can I, can I?'

'Well, let me see... Whoa! We only seem to have Right Wing dictatorships and Death Squads left...
Hmmmm... Looks like we've fulfilled our purpose in life... Shucks!'

'Oh, Chief - go on... lemmee, I wanna destabalize, I'm in a mood for a bit of mischief! Anything will
do... Lets termiate a few Union Leaders with extreme prejudice! Or at least spread some
misinformation to the gutter press about their sex-lives... How's about exploding cigars... this
Bush guy looks like a Pinko to me, why don't we send HIM one?'

'Son, don't worry about Bush, his dad is one of ours, he's got him under strict surveillance.'

'Okay Chief... So since you wont let me play today I have a few questions...'

'Fire away! Eh, not LITERALLY, okay!?!?!'

'Heh! Right... Okay..., so we supplied these Mujahideen guys in Afghanistan a while back with
all the rocket launchers, arms and stuff and so forth. Everything they wanted, right?'

'Right.'

'They got the Russkies out, okay. The country was destroyed and thrown back to the Stone Age but that's not important we agree on that, okay? But now the Russkies are our pals and these Mohaji guys hate our guts! I mean, wha...?

'Ah son, you don't understand the vast tapestry of global power matrices...'

'What does THAT mean Chief?'

'Duh...I dunno son... But I think it means we [edit] up...'

'Another thing Chief... We love democracy don't we...?'

'Yup!'

'And we want to see freedom and justice in every country around the world. And of course
that means free speech and religious freedom too, yeah?'

'Yup!'

'So how come we support people like the Kuwaities and Saudi Arabians who's governments are not even elected? How come they are our big buddies when they can throw women in jail just for driving an auto and cut peoples hands off for stealing? How is it we turn a blind eye to their censoring all their newspapers and even when they execute Muslims for converting to Christianity?'

(Chief pulls out a dollar bill from his pocket) 'Ever seen one of these boy..!?'

'Ohhh....Duhhh...I get it...'

'But Chief, we supplied this Sadaam Hussein or Hussein Sadaam or whatever damn thing we're supposed to call him, with all the arms he wanted and he disposed of a load of Kurds and other worhthless folks. We sent folks to buddy up to him every few months, shaking his hand, smiling... Then he wastes a few Aay-rabs that we LIKE and suddenly we hate his guts and he hates ours! We go in there and have to destroy all the stuff we sold him and take HIS country back to the Stone Age. What was that all THAT about...?'

'Well we got paid for all that stuff didn't we?'

'I don't think so Chief!'

(Smacks head) 'Those [edit] devious Aay-rabs!'

'Er, thanks Chief... Is there someone here in this complex of sky-high salaries that knows what the hell he's doin'?'

'Duh... Not as far as I know kid. But we get paid don't we? That's the main thing... '

'And always remember kid, we must always TALK like we're principled... And always deny any
mistakes okay, if you wanna keep getting paid...Right?''

'Wow Chief I get it. WE make the rules about what's principled and what isn't depending on what
suits our economical benefit. It all makes perfect sense now...!'

'But there's one last thing Chief... If we are so incompetent, if we make more than half the world
hate us, if our dirty tricks keep getting found out, and we screw up our world markets, then what the
hell good are we?'

'Shhhh kid, keep your [edit] voice down if you don't want to leave this building with a rocket up
your ass...!!!

That's TOP SECRET INFORMATION!!!!!!!!!'

***
Please refrain from using profanity in these forums. It's apparent that you are aware of the guidelines by the manner in which you circumvented them. If this is repeated I will delete the entire post.

Christopher

[This message has been edited by Christopher (edited 03-17-2001).]

Dawn Eclipse
Senior Member

since 2000-01-31

Posts 637
The Horsehead Nebula

1 posted 2001-03-18 09:34 PM

Interesting story. Welcome to passions!

"Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. No other course, no other way... No day but today"
~Broadway Musical RENT~

*Cassandra Roseen*

Kaneix
Junior Member

since 2001-03-17

Posts 15

2 posted 2001-03-19 05:33 PM

Christopher it has also been posted elsewhere, I just pasted it in here as-is. I get the message.

Dawn Eclipse. Thank you! x 2. ;D

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