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crappy poem. can anyone help?
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crappy poem. can anyone help? |
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DarkDreamer Junior Member
since 2004-09-04
Posts 19nowhere,special |
wow, i think I wrote like THE worst poem in history. Lately all I can write about is love. I'm like this gothic dreamer that doesn't feel passion for anyone other than family, so anything i write that involves love, stinks. this is the worst poem. can ANYONE help? Love is something special and you shoulsn't jsut give it away, love is a procedure and it has a way of sneaking up behind you in your thoughts at night and telling you "he is the one" amd your eyes feel with fright because you didn't thonk it would be him. But it is and you should have known by his soft gentle touch and when your brain turns to mush because you tried to just say "hi" to him but you couldn't think. that's how you should have known. When he first kissed you and ran his fingers through your hair and your stomach turned into glue. when you looked into his eyes and it felt so good to be in his presence, just like you should. you should have known that it was him. him all along. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
As this is a poetic question, perhaps posting it [or having an Admin move it] to Critical Analysis may be your best bet. Just let us know if you would like to have that option, as "reposting" in some areas is not allowed. |
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RobertB Senior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 1104Champaign, IL |
Well, here I am browsing PIP into areas I have never been. Ummm....since I do not claim to have any proper poetic education, I can only speak from what I think....and that may be complete garbage. Most people should write in a diary their feelings and not write poetry. This may sound pompous and cruel. But it applies to me too. I think the internet is going to destroy poetry. Unfortunately, I will have had a hand in that also. The last poem Dylan Thomas wrote was published after his death. There was 60+ pages of manuscript on that ONE poem. That tells me that a lot of thought should go into any poem. With the internet and computers we can sit here and type out anything we want and "publish" it for all to read. Spell check edits out our mistakes.. WORD even has a thesaurus that can embellish our words. In other words, we can post almost effortlessly. I wonder if it should be a "rule" that poetry should be composed on paper and not a computer. Oh well, your question was if it is the worst poem ever. NO.....many have beaten you to that distinction. If YOU think it is the worst poem ever then YOU have a problem. You have to rewrite and rewrite and REWRITE until YOU feel it is worthy to be posted as....maybe not the BEST poem in the world, but a poem that others will enjoy and one that you will be proud to claim as you work. KEEP WRITING!!!!! Robert |
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RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
If I may interject. Since it seems you are approaching this subject with clenched teeth you may want to loosen up a bit (and not be so hard on yourself, there is no contest here, no tangible reward, just folks struggling to find their voices and taking pleasure when others seem to find something in our words that strikes them). Some suggestions; try a haiku or two, they are short and not an overwhelming challenge formwise. I find that the old adage that art inspires art is true. If you aren't near a decent art museum or have the lovely oversized art books then simply google art museums and you'd be surprised at how many will allow you to supersize famous paintings, drawings, sculptures and photographs that might inspire something. Music, of course and one too often overlooked, nature itself (a combination of both?) have helped me write something. The subject of love is overwhelming and has defied uniform defination since the beginnings of time. You'd be amazed at how a simple thing can be enough subject matter (I once wrote of an old pair of boots I own) There have been times when a word in the dictionary started something. Love itself is overwhelming, its feeling, inspiration are different with everyone of us. Finally (for here and now) there is nothing like the works of successful poets to help us realize what I like to call "word sculpting"s potential. And while I would recommend anyone delve into the classics I can understand where a young person may get bored there, where they see little in common with shepherd's impassioned pleas to the maiden or the tales of peril on the salty brine (particularly if one lives in Iowa). Find a handful of published poets you can relate to. Read them again and again and it will enter from your subconscience to help you understand why those specific words touched you. Here are some websites. http://www.english.uiuc.edu/maps/poets.htm http://www.cortlandreview.com/features/99/04/favpoems.htm http://www.poets.org/index.cfm (the 2 preceeding allow you to hear poems read, often by the authors themselves!) http://susquehannaquarterly.org/ http://www.mun.ca/english/1080/poetry.htm Yes, the next one is Shakespeare, but check it out. The sonnets are explained line by line in understandable language (and language is what its all about, that and its articulation and interpretation). http://www.shakespeares-sonnets.com/ Bon Chance! Poets against the war is redundant |
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