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greco
Member

since 2003-09-27

Posts 85
buffalo ny

0 posted 2004-03-07 04:06 PM

Hey all i am writing a song about my childhood memories and am stuck on this one spot

Since music is poetry i thought this would be a good place to start

here it is

Time flies by so fast
One blinks, and misses it all.
All these memories coming back,
With just one song.
It’s so sad

Why does this world,
Take so much.
All I ever wanted
Was to be free

Than it give to us,
With memories.
Time heals all.
But does it really?

(Chorus)
Time flies by so fast
One blinks, and misses it all.
All these memories coming back,
With just one song.
It’s so sad

Being so young
With summer time memories.

My mind,
Tells me to remember.
What great times,
There was to have together.

With a smile
One doesen’t need to say
i dont know what to put at the end i am stuck ne ideas would be great
thanks

A person will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body - the wishbone

Ringo

Member Elite

since 2003-02-20

Posts 3684
Saluting with misty eyes

1 posted 2004-03-07 09:24 PM

It's a really cool start. Here's a couple of suggestions from an old warrior of the music wars...
Not having the music handy, I'm flying blind at best, however here it is:

Chorus:
Time flies by so fast
One blinks, and misses it all.
All these memories coming back,
With just one song.
It’s so sad

Verse 1
Why does this world,
Take so much.
All I ever wanted
Was to be free

Verse 2
Than it give to us,
With memories.
Time heals all.
But does it really?

Pre-Chorus
Being so young
With summer time memories

Chorus

Verse 3
My mind,
Tells me to remember.
What great times,
There was to have together

Bridge
With a smile one doesn’t need to say

Now... since you have changed the entire structure of this part of the song, try it. Instead of singing it with a verse melody, change it to a different melody entirely. Not the Verse, not the Chorus, something entirely different.
Great example of bridges to draw inspiration from are:
New York State Of Mind (Billy Joel ..."It used to be so easy...")
Enter Sandman (Metallica... the prayer in the middle)
Love Is On The Way (Saigon Kick... "and in the morning, I'll be gone away...)
Crazy Train (Ozzy... "I know that thngs are going wrong for me...")

Listen to all of these, and then listen to the music you would normally listen to and figure out where the bridges are in those songs, then figure out how to put on in this song.
Then do a chorus and out.
Hope it helps... if not, e-mail me and I'll attempt to give you a little more indepth help.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur
built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

greco
Member

since 2003-09-27

Posts 85
buffalo ny

2 posted 2004-03-07 10:20 PM

wow thanks that is very helpful, and Billy Joel is my favorite musician

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