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Critical Analysis #1
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For Jim and all of you .. may make u laugh !!
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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For Jim and all of you .. may make u laugh !! |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
I'm definitely going to post something "serious" soon, but I couldn't resist this. Some of you may know of the humourous odes made famous by the Stanley Holloway monologues. The authentic accent for reciting these is broad Lancastrian (uk). If you ever watch Frasier on TV then Daphne is about a close as you'll get. Here's one of my favourite followed by my own "Passions" version  . btw if you want to see more there is a site: http://homepages.tesco.net/~p.wilkinson/Poems.htm ALBERT AND THE LION Marriot Edgar There's a famous seaside town called Blackpool, That's noted for fresh air and fun, And Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom Went there with young Albert, their son. A grand little lad was young Albert All dressed in his best; quite a swell With a stick with an 'orse's 'ead 'andle The finest that Woolworth's could sell. They didn't think much to the Ocean The waves, they were fiddlin' and small There was no wrecks and nobody drownded Fact, nothing to laugh at at all. So, seeking for further amusement They paid and went to the Zoo Where they'd Lions and Tigers and Camels And old ale and sandwiches too. There were one great big Lion called Wallace His nose were all covered with scars He lay in a somnolent posture With the side of his face on the bars. Now Albert had heard about Lions How they was ferocious and wild To see Wallace lying so peaceful Well, it didn't seem right to the child. So straightway the brave little feller Not showing a morsel of fear Took his stick with its 'orse's 'ead 'andle And shoved it in Wallace's ear. You could see the Lion didn't like it For giving a kind of a roll He pulled Albert inside the cage with 'im And swallowed the little lad 'ole Then Pa, who had seen the occurrence And didn't know what to do next Said "Mother! Yon Lions 'et Albert" And Mother said "Well, I am vexed!" Then Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom Quite rightly, when all's said and done Complained to the Animal Keeper That the Lion had eaten their son. The keeper was quite nice about it He said "What a nasty mishap Are you sure it's your boy he's eaten?" Pa said "Am I sure? There's his cap!" The manager had to be sent for He came and he said "What's to do?" Pa said "Yon Lion's 'et Albert And 'im in his Sunday clothes, too." Then Mother said, "Right's right, young feller I think it's a shame and a sin For a lion to go and eat Albert And after we've paid to come in." The manager wanted no trouble He took out his purse right away Saying "How much to settle the matter?" And Pa said "What do you usually pay?" But Mother had turned a bit awkward When she thought where her Albert had gone She said "No! someone's got to be summonsed" So that was decided upon. Then off they went to the Police Station In front of the Magistrate chap They told 'im what happened to Albert And proved it by showing his cap. The Magistrate gave his opinion That no one was really to blame And he said that he hoped the Ramsbottoms Would have further sons to their name. At that Mother got proper blazing "And thank you, sir, kindly," said she "What waste all our lives raising children To feed ruddy Lions? Not me!" AND NOW MY PALE IMITATION WITH APPROPRIATE APOLOGIES AND ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: Jimbo, Phil and the Quill There’s some famous forums in Passions Well noted for prose, verse and wit And one day young Philip went there To show off his talents a bit. Rather full of himself was young Philip Inclined to be sassy and clever With an attitude some would call prissy And a quill of a smart goose’s feather. He didn’t think much to the Open The poems were all quite the same There was no blood or death or destruction All that mattered, it seemed, was your name! So seeking for further amusement He entered the den of CA Where everyone looks fairly normal But really they’re far from OK! There was one bright young talent called Jimbo Who sported a permanent smirk And boldly he played with Sestinas Till some thought his surname was Kirk. Now Philip had heard about Jimbo His tempers so moody and crass So, grinning, he took his sharp goose quill And poked it in Jimbo’s soft arm! It was obvious Jimbo was angry He permitted his finger to wag Then jerking the quill from his armpit He stuffed it right into his bag. Now Roxane had seen the swift hand-sleight And knew of the quill’s magic nib She wondered what Phil’d do without it She dreaded to see him ad lib. So keeping an eye on the culprit She e-mailed her friend Jenni P “The bad news is Jim’s got the quill pen, but at least now he’ll write poetry”! Some things though need Moderation As Jenni and Rox knew so well Ole Brad was the man to cool tempers Bare Souled with a Red Rose Lapel. He came and he said in his wise way “This isn’t a matter for luck There are no poetical issues I guess that I’ll just pass the buck. I am only concerned with the problem Of whether a poet writes well The person we need to get hold of Is his Majesty Ronald Carnell!" His Worship strode into the Forum The tenants thereof all bowed low They told him of Jim and the quill pen And waited for Philip to show. The jury were all linked by e-mail Kristine, Pete and Haze were all there Jerome and Jamaica were lurking When Trevor emerged from his lair. He shouted, “I’ve seen Phil and Jimbo abscond with the quill travellin’ west it seems that they’ve now become partners and they’re claimin’ that their verse is best.” [This message has been edited by Poertree (edited 01-30-2000).] |
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caul Junior Member
since 2000-01-07
Posts 12 |
I was brought up listening to these poems recited by my father in a true Lancashire ( Blackburn ) accent, my favorite was about Sam who was reluctant to pick up a certain firearm knocked over by a third party.  I’m glad to see someone is continuing this fine tradition ( though they may go down better in Preston than Passions ) Thanks for my nostalgia fix. Yes, I admit your general rule. That every poet is a fool: But I myself may serve to show it. That every fool is not a poet. |
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Wordshaman Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 110Illinois, USA |
lol--I only wish I were of strong enough opinion to be included in the poem... |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
You ARE WS .. lol I just thought that both of us ganging up on poor ole Jim might have been too much for even his robust sense of humour ... Maybe next time !!! P |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Philip: You have entirely TOO MUCH time on your hands, my friend. TBMCLAHMHOMB (Tipped Back My Chair Laughing And Hit My Head On My Bookcase). The ending was perfect (and the scary thing is that it is it is so easy to believe). So, spoken in my broad Lancastrian (PA, USA) accent, thanks for the bump on the back of my head, Philip. Jim "If I rest, I rust." - Martin Luther |
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Buffpimp Junior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 39 |
Hey man, That was REALLY GOOD! It kind of got me out of my depressing life for a second. I laughed TONS! Keep up the good work man. It is REALLY HUMUROUS! |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Loved this, Philip, especially the phrase, "sported a permanent smirk". That comes from his being such a smart... well, you know. I'm not sure if I'd be breaking the rules if I finished that. Great piece, Philip, Kristine |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Philip, this was great. I just finished reading and commenting on Trevor's "A Father's Son, A Momma's Boy" and thought I would be depressed the rest of the day. Reading this has completely extricated me from the depths of that depression. Now I think it will be a good day after all. Thanks. Pete What terms shall I find sufficiently simple in their sublimity -- sufficiently sublime in their simplicity -- for the mere enunciation of my theme? Edgar Allan Poe |
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