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Fun
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Fun |
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patchoulipumpkin Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 196Bermuda |
Read that a kid Suffocated On a toy Pokemon The news said BEWARE TOYS MAY BE DANGEROUS And I felt Bad for the kid Who accidentally Made Fun Dangerous For the rest of us [This message has been edited by patchoulipumpkin (edited 01-28-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 patchoulipumpkin - All Rights Reserved | |||
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haze Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528Bethlehem, PA USA |
an excellent statement of the harm of alarmist and reactionary society pressure...the further harm to life by an over-eager press! I love the poem and the layers lying beneath...KUDOS! ~haze |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
patchoulipumpkin: very good job  i've often pondered the same overreaction of our society to things like that and i applaud you for expressing it in such an effective and simplistic manner... i thoroughly enjoyed it  sincerely, jerome the boy that wants more kool-aid A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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merely_a_jester Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 67Arkansas... that's all you get |
i like the thought that went into this poem and the levels that peek out from it i'm in full agreement witht the guys above a job well done just another twice invisible boy To Be, contents his natural desire, He asks no Angel's wing, no Seraph's fire; Alexander Pope |
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Trevor Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 700Canada |
When I read the first stanza I immediately put on my "I'm gonna hate this one!" frown because of the Pokemon reference but as I read on and you enlightened me as to what this poem was really about....I became very impressed. The ending capped it, iced it, zipped it...and so on, all up perfectly. Great last stanza. "Who accidentally Made Fun Dangerous For the rest of us" Terrific sense of irony in these words. Again, terrific poem, thanks for sharing it, take care, Trevor |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Patch, Strong job. One gets the feeling at times of what poetry 'should' be about and that probably would be some sort of lament for the child who died. This doesn't in anyway mean there shouldn't be a lament but I'm very glad that you've chosen a different direction here. Well done, Brad |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Patch: I agree with the above responses in-as-much-as this was an stong statement against alarmists and opportunistic media types (I hate the news spots like, "Toy causes todder's death; details at 11." But I think the content could be quite upsetting for a close relative of one of the deceased children. Surely they would give anything now to have that particular brand of fun ruined. Just an opinion. Good job here. Jim "If I rest, I rust." - Martin Luther |
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hoppy Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271 |
I LOVE YOU POEM, myself i hate pokemon!! i think the japs have sent them to take over the world!! but seriously i like the connotations with the child speeking. Shows how adults overlook what a child sees. nice work "If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standards of nonconformity." SUBMIT YOUR POETRY HERE, AWSOME PAGE. NEW POETRY FORUM ADDED Don't look... you might see. Don't listen... you might hear. Don't think... you might learn. Don't walk... you might stumble. Don't run... you might fall. Don't make a decision... you might be wrong. Don't live...you might die. THE PAGE OF PURE POETIC EXPRESSION!! |
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shock gospel Junior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 33 |
I think if we could see the tombs, behind the masks, of some of the things we call fun, then the media wouldn't have to tell us when to run. shock gospel |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
I echo Haze's comment about the layers .. What's Pokemon? Some kinda card game? Sorry I guess my USA-less and kid-less existence puts me at a disadvantage here ..... or should that be an "advantage"  Philip |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Ah Philip, if you've been spared Pokemon, you must be truly blessed. You don't even want to know. Patch, sorry I'm not sure how to comment on this as a poem, but you certainly have made a worthwhile social statement. Like Trevor, I was at first put off by the reference to Pokemon and I think I would still like it better if maybe you substituted some other toy or maybe even some made up or unnamed toy. Thanks for the statement though. Pete What terms shall I find sufficiently simple in their sublimity -- sufficiently sublime in their simplicity -- for the mere enunciation of my theme? Edgar Allan Poe |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
First: Let me congratulate patch on another fine piece that I missed before... kudos punkin... Second: Let me point out -- that while Pokemon may be a little obnoxious to adults it has taken a generation of kids mesmered into the isolation of basements and thrust them into a sport (yes sport) that has them interacting with each other in droves -- and it's not that different from our generations fascination with Frodo or Troll Dolls.. Therefore -- I echo the sentiment -- it's too bad our litigous society has created this kind of reactionary response to any misfortune that comes along. < !signature--> Hate is a dead thing. Who of you would be a tomb? -Kahlil Gibran [This message has been edited by Local Rebel (edited 02-05-2000).] |
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lily Junior Member
since 1999-12-27
Posts 16united states |
this is a great poem! brief, yet thought-provoking.i agree that the "layers" give this piece character and the ability to inspire. impressive. GREAT JOB!! |
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jenni Member
since 1999-09-11
Posts 478Washington D.C. |
patch-- sorry, i thought i had commented on this one before, but i see i haven't... well, it's GREAT, how about that? you say alot in very few words. i find myself looking forward to your postings; you have a wonderful 'voice' and always something interesting to say. keep them coming, ok? jenni |
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daleedmands New Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 7 |
I guess I shall call you, 'Patch'! Thanks for the nice words on "Night Out." I'm new to this format, but I can see why so many poets flock to these 'good' sites; the savvy ones, anyway  I loved this poem; so much impact with so few words. Hits home, as well it should! I will keep reading your poetry, as it has a magnetic quality; keeps bringing the reader back for just one more line...please! Nice to be here with such quality poets. Yours in verse, Dale |
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