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To my friend X.
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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To my friend X. |
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Willem Member
since 1999-11-18
Posts 139Inverness, FL, USA |
TO MY FRIEND X. One day, an angel will appear and take those cool dark glasses from your eyes, the mask that hides your creeping fear that gold, nor sweat, nor persuasion, nor clever games, nor brutal power, will save the sagging base of human pride on which you built your royal tower, in tribute to yourself. And then, perhaps, you'll understand, and, trembling, bow your head and, weeping, see your mighty tower tumble. Like all man's monuments to man, it once must crash, its concrete crumble, its dust be scattered by the wind. And never will you build again upon mere sand... |
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| © Copyright 2000 Willem - All Rights Reserved | |||
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Willem: I really liked this. Your final couplet compelled me to go back to the beginning and give the poem another read. I appreciate poems with some measure of depth of thought and you managed this while using the "built upon the sand" imagery (without falling victim to the cliche monster). This I liked. I thought your use of meter was interesting in here too. Most of it appears to be iambic with some variations. The variation in Line 2, in particular, "and TAKE those COOL DARK GLASS-es FROM your EYES", caught my eye. I noticed several philosophically influenced poems in here lately. I hope this isn't just a passing trend. Thanks for the read. Jim "If I rest, I rust." - Martin Luther |
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Willem Member
since 1999-11-18
Posts 139Inverness, FL, USA |
Jim: Thank you for your careful reading of this poem. I myself never try to analyze my meter to see if all the dots and dashes are in the right place, so it's good someone else does it for me once in while.  The most important characteristic of most poetry, IMHO, is the combined musical effect it has on my ears and feelings, hence, its music. I never took any lessons in poetical structure, nomenclature, etc. I do it all by ear,and I believe I have some in-bred talent for that. Of course, I also pay attention to the message or story, although that does not seem to be necessary for critical poem analysis nowadays (no insult meant).Willem |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Willem, Very good work here, metaphorically, message-wise, and in imagery. I am like you in the way you know a poem is right ... you, very aptly, call it music, while I call it the "feel" of the poem. I did truly enjoy the piece. warmhrt [This message has been edited by warmhrt (edited 01-21-2000).] |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Pardon the pun...but I found this poem a delightful and well constructed read. "And never will you build again upon mere sand..." This makes for a wonderful ending to an already good poem. Your imagery works well as does your breaks...they serve to accentuate what needs attention drawn to it. Overall...good job Ruth |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
Hello there Willem I hope you are well.. I thought this was perhaps one of the best pieces i have seen from you. I especially liked the strong clear message along the lines of "Pride comes before a Fall"... Most of all however I was intrigued by the way in which the poem built towards the ending in a way which left the reader crying out to know the way to salvation. The biblical reference in the last stanza naturally points the true path and rather cleverly i thought links back to the opening line and the "angel". Thanks. Philip |
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