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tonight I see the ghost of pain
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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tonight I see the ghost of pain |
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John Foulstone Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 100Australia |
tonight I see the ghost of pain that shambles round beneath this stone facade I show the world the long hard chains he wore the denim noose about his throat softly denying head the blood his heart no longer cared to give the bars that held him one more day from all his nineteen years the spectre fades one day I saw a boy who smiled with eyes that danced before this stone facade I show the world the notebook where he wrote a cluster of red hearts in pairs the names of girls he might have loved the many empty pages are enough to make another shroud encompassing my failure and my son tonight I see the ghost of pain |
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| © Copyright 2000 John Foulstone - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Hawk183 Member
since 1999-12-24
Posts 130 |
John, Very tragic... The line about the "denim noose" is especially powerful for me. The form is well done...and the feeling of loss is abundant, both for the subject and the writer.Nice work. Hawk |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
John, This is truly heart-rendering, conveying the most tragic of events any parent could ever experience. The emotional feel of the piece seems to be that this is something always there, but hidden beneath the surface ... the "stone facade", and that it escapes to haunt the narrator with bittersweet memories and unfounded guilt. An excellent, but oh, so very sad piece, John. warmhrt |
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roxane Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505us |
this is a wonderful piece, such imagery and emotions, though a terrible thing to experience, you have captured that feeling. i especially loved the part about another shroud. excellent work, john. |
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