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The Killing of Fires
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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The Killing of Fires |
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yfy New Member
since 2000-01-02
Posts 4 |
The Killing of Fires Touch your brow and leave you for cold Pull its heart from the thickest air And shine it on the spotlight Make it so aware it's uncomfortable Keep your needs insatiable and unkempt Growing like the fame which consumes you And kills your flame and your glow You let in peeping toms but forget the curtains Make them confused and push them out But flirt with certain death within the heart And risk nothing about your secret self Because you can't touch what you want Renee 1998 |
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| © Copyright 2000 yfy - All Rights Reserved | |||
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patchoulipumpkin Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 196Bermuda |
I liked it, i got the interpretation that its about a certain personality, or person who has these tendencies to live beyond his/her limitations. I have to admit i got a little confused as to the direction and flow of the poem, because to me, it seemed to start out almost as directions-i.e. "how to", but then you use "you", so its put back on a person. It was a bit unclear in regards to that, the switching of intention, so that i didn't quite understand if it was a "what" or a "who" you were referring to. I did like it. |
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yfy New Member
since 2000-01-02
Posts 4 |
I see what you're saying...I should offer an admittance of a typo, or maybe just lack of editing. hah!  How about this...but I can't find a proper last line.  Touch your brow and leave you for cold Pull its heart from the thickest air Shine it on the spotlight Make it so aware it's uncomfortable Keep your needs insatiable and unkempt Growing like the fame which consumes you Which kills your flame and your glow Let in peeping toms but forget the curtains Make them confused and push them out But flirt with certain death within the heart Risk nothing about your secret self Because you can't have what you want note: I did write it about a girl who tends to lead people on in relationships (although in this instance it's men) because she wants a relationship with a man but doesn't think she will live up to his standards. Anyway, she acts provacatively towards them but rebuffs them when they respond positively to her behavior. It's written from the perspective of an objective friend (I don't know if that's evident or not), and that's a hard (harsh) thing to say, since it's about ~me~.  |
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John Foulstone Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 100Australia |
Renee, I liked it too, and would like it even more with some work on meter. "But flirt with certain death within the heart" is excellent. Pure iambic pentameter. Rest is kind of all over the place. Just as an example of what I mean, how about: "But flirt with certain death within the heart Risk nothing of your secret self at all Because you cannot touch the thing you want." Hey, it's a very common girl game. At least you're aware of it. |
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