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I Lost You
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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I Lost You |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments 
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A child cries out, lost in the night, A tiny bird falters and falls from flight. Emerald eyes glisten from newly shed tears, And a lost soul looks back on the wasted years A family screams out for the loss of their own, The sun that once shimmered is now barely shown. Warm, balmy breezes have now turned to ice, And a once happy life is now not so nice. A heart once brimming with love is now closed to all, An invicible being has taken the fall. Compassion thought to stand for all of time, Now holds no kind of reason or rhyme. I once thought my life was easy and bright, But now upon me is a seeming eternal night. My soul was alive with you by my side, But along with you, my heart has died. I know that I should move on, leave the past behind, Go forward and seek the hope I need to find. Yes, I realize this, I know that it is true, But things just aren't worth it since I lost you. (An earlier work of mine, but I was wondering if anyone thought it could/should be changed or improved on in anyway. Thanks!) Oh, and do remember that I am only 15! ------------------ *Krista Knutson* "I will sail my vessel 'till the river runs dry, like a bird upon the wind, these waters are my sky..." Garth Brooks [This message has been edited by Alwye (edited 07-28-99).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 Krista Botterill - All Rights Reserved | |||
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redwriter1 Member
since 1999-07-22
Posts 480Franklin, TN |
I am truly amazed.!.. What a heartfelt thing you have written. Words.. great. Honesty.. is right on the money.. I feel like I want to cry.. sounds too familiar.. May I ask.. who you lost? I can't possibly believe you made those feelings up. I/m truly impressed.. Good Work!.. Please post more. Red |
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