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Forever fight
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Forever fight |
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JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA 
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Some may have read this before, but I have posted here seeking a solid critique and perhaps some suggestions for improvement. Malevolent shade, why dost thou pursue me? Violent, spectral beast, reeking with death's stench. Am I the only one to fight you? In our eternal battle, not once have I escaped, your sinewy blizzard clutch. Wrest briefly from thine claw, only to again be grasped by mine heel. Fighting ever. Futility in fleeing. Never to remove thine grunge, from inside mine head. Thine presence sickens me, ye of many names; anger, spite, envy, despair. Your putrescence creeps always, touching filth upon any I love. Thou dost grapple with me, in my waking dreams. Sitting upon my labored chest, in my fright-soaked nights. Darkness be thy greeting, horror be thy laugh. For ages beyond my knowing, you have death-walked, seething within me, waiting. Are ye controlled by my might? Hardly so. Merely allowing me but brief reprieve, to flit upon joy. Only to make thy return, more vile by compare. Eternal dreg of hate, I spit in thine eye. For I, humanity, shall strive, to gain final conquest, in this forever fight. ------------------ Dum spiro, spero JP |
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| © Copyright 1999 JP Burns - All Rights Reserved | |||
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M. Rivera Junior Member
since 1999-07-22
Posts 13San Francisco |
Hi JP. I love all your poetry! I read all of them! I love them because you can be very secretive, and descriptive at the same time. Your words are deep! Submit another so I can read it! |
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JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA |
THAT has got to be the most encouraging comment I have ever recieved! What a rush! ------------------ Dum spiro, spero JP |
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