Critical Analysis #1 |
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Return to Darkness |
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JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA ![]() |
I opened my soul to you, not knowing my foolishness. Now… now, I understand fully, my damned stupidity. Band-Aids cannot seal, this gaping slash in my heart. Cast iron straps, with welded clasp yeah, that should do it. Hold my heart together in their hard, cold, eternal grasp. I Removed my armor, exposed my soul such uncalculated idiocy. I suppose I deserve my pain, because I dropped my shield expecting you to protect me. Whose fault? Is it mine? Yours? Who gives a shit? It still hurts. Will I love again? Care again? I doubt it. Once is more than enough My intellect is still intact. my mind can work just fine, without my heart's help. Thirty-four years of soulless thought has proven that point splendidly. Can a man return to darkness after touching the light? Can a man re-embrace silence after hearing the song? Will water quench the thirst created by the taste of wine? I guess we'll see, won't we? [This message has been edited by JP (edited 07-25-99).] |
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© Copyright 1999 JP Burns - All Rights Reserved | |||
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
If someone can find fault with this, they're gonna have to fight me! |
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JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA |
I was just reading this peice, got distracted by ICQ and looked back, forgetting that it was my own work I was reading. First thought I had was "removing my armor...exposing my soul" very cliche. I could go on with a few other spots that I would consider weak, but that is what y'all are supposed to do... Kinda embarrasing when you read your own stuff and think it's lame. ------------------ Dum spiro, spero JP |
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redwriter1 Member
since 1999-07-22
Posts 480Franklin, TN |
wow!.. Can I put that last "verse". (sorry i'm a songwriter, smile) on a poster?? very nice.. sounds like Kahlil Gabran (hope I spelled that right).. thank you, I will be saving that last "verse" to look at again and again. |
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JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA |
You can put anything I write, anywhere you like, as long as I get the royalties of course. ![]() ------------------ Dum spiro, spero JP |
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Saxoness![]()
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
my favorite yet, JP, although I agree about the armor bit. Hmmm....a fight with Balladeer, how interesting. ------------------ "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." -Charles Brugnot |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Wonderful. Sad but wonderful. ![]() |
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