Critical Analysis #1 |
Untitled (Need Some Sugg.) |
Jer Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443USA |
The wind is wailing, screaming, I turn and face the ferocious air. It speaks! But what words are spoken here? Tell tale of rage, shattered homes, and translucent wings of purple and gold. Multi-coloured raindrops blind me to the darkness. Tonight I travel with the wind, to hunt the streets of New York. The wind grows stronger. The rain sets in, and sloly drown's away, the life and hope of a homeless man. Ask yourself: -Is there another word for synonym? -Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"? -Is a shelless turtle homeless or just naked? -Why do they put Braille on the drive-thru bank machines? -Why do they use sterile needles for lethal injections? -Why are you still reading this signature text? ~Jeremy Snyder~ |
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© Copyright 1999 Jeremy Snyder - All Rights Reserved | |||
Thaddeus Member
since 1999-11-16
Posts 78MA |
Your poem intrigues me. I like the phrase from within the poem "ferocious air" perhaps that could be your title or an adaptation of it - I am curious about the feirce wind imagery turning into the colors and then back to the wind. The use of the colors, in my opinion, causes the poem to stumble some, but also holds great promise. What are you saying speaking about the purple and gold translucent winds and the multicolored raindrops? |
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roxane Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505us |
i like the imagery in here, and the sort of unlying rhyme that goes on, but i don't think that the poem tells enough. you're going to hunt the streets of new york? why? i kind of wonder that reading this. but you what, since reading your signature, i have been racking my brain trying to come up with a synonym for the word synonym. arggghhh |
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