What the hell is wrong with me?

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Critical Analysis #1

What the hell is wrong with me?

JesiKa raBBit
Junior Member

since 1999-11-11

Posts 11
midland Texas USA

0 posted 1999-11-16 12:17 PM

Damn, what the hell is wrong with me?
Why can't I allow myself to enjoy the sweet pleasures of life?
I know bad things have happened to me,
but not because I'm a bad person.
Why is it so easy to say that
yet so hard to actualy belive it?
Some day maybe I can put all the wrong doings behind me
and truly forgive myself,
for allowing the s*it to happened to me.

roxane
Senior Member

since 1999-09-02

Posts 505
us

1 posted 1999-11-16 05:21 PM

i understand the feelings you are having in this piece, but i don't really understand why you believe the things that you believe and what has happened to you? most depressed people rather revel in their sadness, but you give into the generic advice that most people give. i respect that. that has nothing to do with your poem. my question is why do you believe it? i'm not saying that you're unjustifiably happy. i think that's great, but i think that the poem should further explain. i guess that i accept the line about saying them, but not really believing them, but it sounds to me as if you do believe them.

JesiKa raBBit
Junior Member

since 1999-11-11

Posts 11
midland Texas USA

2 posted 1999-11-17 11:48 AM

roxan,
thakx for the replie and i know that this one doesn't make much sence but i would rather not tell everone about all this stuff you know, and once i post it up here it's out there for the whole world. to answer your question some days i'm all happy and everything is going great then one little thing goes wrong and i think about just eveything thats happened and get stuck in this donwward spin and then i write stuff like this. what i ment for this poem to say is that i don't like remimbering the past i need to move on and not hold that stuff aginst myself. i hope you read this and it makes it a little more clear. just let me know.

roxane
Senior Member

since 1999-09-02

Posts 505
us

3 posted 1999-11-17 04:59 PM

it is easier for me to understand having read that. i think that you should inject a little of that into the poem. even if you come right out and say "i need to stop thinking about the past and get on with my life." that simple statement may do wonders for the poem.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.