»
Archives
»
Critical Analysis #1
»
Silk Tigers
| Critical Analysis #1 |
|
Silk Tigers |
|
|
haze Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528Bethlehem, PA USA 
|
We stalk the dry rim of the foraged bed as if it were a clock; As if our pacing would wind back the rusted hands. As if the spoiled springs, groaning and creaking, would bring us back to the verdant forest. We prowl the dusted plain, silk tigers, peeling fading cracking portraits, painted testaments to gods endurance. ~haze 11/09/99 |
||
| © Copyright 1999 Haze McElhenny - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
roxane Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505us |
once again, awesome imagery, however, i don't really understand this one. maybe you could explain, or write a poem that explains it, or maybe i'm an idiot who just doesn't see it. let me know  |
||
|
haze Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528Bethlehem, PA USA |
We stalk the dry rim of the foraged bed as if it were a clock; As if our pacing would wind back the rusted hands. As if the spoiled springs, groaning and creaking, would bring us back to the verdant forest. We prowl the dusted plain, silk tigers, peeling fading cracking portraits, painted testaments to gods endurance. ~haze 11/09/99 Perhaps I have failed...The foraged bed is a layered image...time with a lover or partner run dry. The pacing refers to the desire to recapture...wind back time to before, but, the spring is rotted, tight,tired. The spring creaks and groans... The dry curling imagery, more pacing, more trying to recapture...but ending up as paint...nothing more. Dry cracking peeling paint...in other words...we get lost in that search... But we continue, because (something inside of us makes us)continue to search for the primordial glade, the verdant greenery we thought we owned before... Make sense? |
||
|
Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
Haze, I didn't dare say it before anyone else but I didn't understand it either! Now you've explained - I can see it, and yes the imagery is superb. |
||
|
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
You've used some wonderful imagery, but a little of it is so obscure it's not easily captured by the reader. Perhaps you could give a bit more to this poem, go into just a bit more detail to clarify it a little better without losing the symbolism in the wake. I see a lot of potential for this piece. |
||
|
DramaMama Junior Member
since 1999-10-28
Posts 47Louisiana |
Love the way you pare down the language to its essence. But I did not understand this poem either until you explained it. Perhaps you could separate the metaphors so that they do not confuse. How do silk tigers and portraits go together, for instance? or do they? I agree with hoot_owl... add a bit more to make those striking images connect for the reader. Pat a.k.a. DramaMama |
||
|
Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Agree with Hoot and DM here. Doreen's going to laugh but this poem needs to be longer. You have some great images but too many too fast -- expand it, develop it. It's hard to descern if you mean this in erotic terms or comic terms. I admit I wasn't turned on by the title. Too close to Paper Tiger if you ask me (you didn't but you did post it here, right ) I suppose there's something to be said for leaving the reader wanting more but here I really, really want more.Thanks, Brad |
||
|
Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
I don't think it needs to be longer -- I think it is best sometimes to leave the interpretation open to the reader. I got everything in this poem except your reference to gods endurance... is this a slam against the artificial god of religion? |
||
|
Songbird Member Elite
since 1999-12-15
Posts 2184Missouri |
You certainly have a way with words. I like this it is so description and yet leaves alot to the imagination of the reader. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
