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Nightspear
New Member

since 1999-10-20

Posts 8
Michigan, USA

0 posted 1999-11-09 02:31 AM

I know I said I was guilty and I regret everything,
I wish you would forgive me for it all, I know the sadness it will bring.
I loved you at that moment, for a while it was just right,
But then it ended and now I know you cry yourself to sleep at night.
The pain I have inflicted on my body and in my heart,
I've lost all hope for us as I sadly watch us part.
I trust you with my life; you chased away my fears,
But you can't help me when I cry, can't chase away the tears.
So many times I've watched it and told myself beware,
The love we shared is gone, I wonder, do you still care?

Your face appears in my dreams; your voice is in my head,
I walk without knowing that the love we had is dead.
Now I know what heartache is, let me tell you this,
After thoughts of when we touch, every time we kiss.
I have to keep my head up high, try to give a smile,
Getting over you isn’t easy; it'll take a while.
But you'll be here to comfort me, right up till the end,
Just because the love is gone, doesn't mean you’re not my friend.

I used to say I love you, I used to hold your hand,
I would listen when you talked and truly understand.
We still sit and talk at night, about nothing, really at all,
But sometimes I sit crying, just waiting for your call.
Just waiting to hear your voice, to see what you will say,
The pain will not leave, please make it go away.
I just wish you were here to hold me as I cry,
To sit with me and watch our love, watch it slowly die.

------------------
Nighspear{~*~}

Believe not what you see or hear, believe only what you feel

roxane
Senior Member

since 1999-09-02

Posts 505
us

1 posted 1999-11-09 11:50 PM

the beginning of this one seems to stagger a bit, but it does get better and better. the last line is dripping with desperation, sadness, it was my favorite one. in the middle, you sometimes use a few too many words than possibly necessary which makes it harder to decipher. anyways, i thought that it was a pretty good start. keep it up.

Brad
Member Ascendant

since 1999-08-20

Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea

2 posted 1999-11-11 05:45 AM

I have to admit you got me with the last line . I don't know why but I was actually moved.
It's kind of embarrassing if you've read some of my other posts.

One day, please explain to me why a couplet rhyme form. I just don't understand why people write this way.

Thanks,
Brad

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