Once Ago I Had a Dream - pipTalk Forums

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Critical Analysis #1

Once Ago I Had a Dream

angel68
New Member

since 1999-10-28

Posts 1
Akron, Ohio, USA

0 posted 1999-10-28 08:30 PM

As I lay waking upon the sand
I looked ahead at a strange land
The seas were white, the ground was black
The wind went ravaging on its attack

I strolled the streets of ebony
Someone distant called to me
I reached out toward the sweet, soft voice
It compelled, gave no choice

At last I touched a fragrant rose
Its empowering scent filled my nose
I saw its color, bright against the dark path
Overpowering with its beautiful wrath

Upon awakening from the split second dream
My feet emerged in the whispering stream
I lost my touch with paradise
To visit again on distant summer nights

------------------
Critique me, and do your worst.

merlynh
Member

since 1999-09-26

Posts 411
deer park, wa

1 posted 1999-10-28 11:11 PM

I thought it wasn't too bad for a poem. I'm story writer not a poeit. I liked it. Read some of stuff and decide if my opinion is worth anything.

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