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Remembrance
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Remembrance |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA 
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Remembrance I awoke last night thinking I felt your movements and as my hand traced lazily down my abdomen; I remembered you were gone. The flatness of my belly suddenly felt so foreign; and the memory of you caused my breasts to weep in tears of milk. I reached to clasp the tiny box, containing a foot print card and a lock of your hair, with the same hands that only days before shook as they touched your perfect face. You were born in silence ~ and something inside me died. ------------------ This is courage...to bear unflinchingly what heaven sends. ~Eurpides |
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| © Copyright 1999 Ruth Kephart - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Iloveit Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121NM |
wow hoot, this is beautiful, I reread several times and liked it more each time the first time I read, I didn't get the flatness of the belly and breasts weeping milk, but as soon as I got to the end, it was clear. the images are perfect, painting a really sad event, and the last 2 lines are stunning, just love your gift with words. this is good hoot, and will send you hugs for the sadness  |
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Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
This poem, I think is perfect the way it is. It makes one almost feel the loss... ------------------ "Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage." -Billy Corgan- |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
I must be losing my edge. This is the second poem in a row that I have to say is brilliant. I don't know how you say you 'like' a poem like this; it worked for me and I found it very moving. The misdirection in the beginning (I saw it as a lost lover) increases the epiphany (No, wait you're talking about . . .) in the middle of the poem. The little details enhance the theme of loss so well and the last line is an almost perfect double play (don't mean to make that sound trite). Fantastic job, Brad |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Iloveit and systematic decay, thank you both very much. Brad...I am at a loss for words, thank you for your kind comments. I intentionally worded the beginning to mislead the reader at first and then pulll them in with the lines and the memory of you caused my breasts to weep in tears of milk. Brilliant? Coming from you, that means all the more. Thank you |
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