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The Pen of a Ready Writer
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The Pen of a Ready Writer |
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Mona Lisa Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 100Halifax, Nova Scotia |
The Ready Pen of a Writer Ink on parchment..... So begins the tale of an unforeseen adventure, as new personalities are birthed into existence, and tailored to perfection. Unfolding drama, some good, some evil, but all lending purpose to an imaginatively spun tale in which captivating narratives enthrall and arrest the mind of the reader. The quest for adventure continues to soar as colored fluid mercilessly stains page after page, while the saga continues...... [This message has been edited by Mona Lisa (edited 10-12-1999).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 Mona Lisa - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Iloveit Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121NM |
mona lisa, I like this idea, but have a few suggestions to make it come through clearer... The Ready Pen of a Writer Ink on parchment..... So begins the tale of an unforeseen adventure, would take out or replace unforseen, think the line is better without it as new personalities are birthed into existence, tailored to perfection, to each their own traits.would leave off after the comma, is not needed, you already clarified that the personalities are birthed to perfection Unfolding drama, some good, some evil, but all lending purpose to imaginatively spun tales.would change this to "an imaginatively spun tale" you seem to be moving from the creation of a singular fictional piece and trying to encompass all writing Giving birth to fictitious narratives that serve to enthrall and arrest the mind of the visionary. well, not sure what you mean by visionary, here, so might be changing the meaning of the line, but I think that giving birth, is repeated from the first verse, and ficticious is not needed, it is obvious that this is about fiction try "a narrative to enthrall and arrest the mind." The quest for adventure continues to soar as colored fluid mercilessly stains page after page, still writing, as the saga continues...... ok this verse is pretty good except for the "still writing" that is what the line above says and much more eloquently, and this poem is as much about the reader as the writer, maybe you could include a line about the reader turning the ink stained pages, hungering for more? I liked the idea, and I hope you understand my ideas...  |
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Mona Lisa Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 100Halifax, Nova Scotia |
Iloveit, thank you for your suggestions. I took another look at the poem and found that most of your suggestions worked so I changed parts of the poem. Also, I like your idea about maybe adding something about the reader hungering for more adventure. I'm going to see if I can think of something. Thanks again. [This message has been edited by Mona Lisa (edited 10-12-1999).] |
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