»
Archives
»
Critical Analysis #1
»
My best friend
| Critical Analysis #1 |
|
My best friend |
|
|
PaintGirl New Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 4Niceville, FL USA |
Katie I used to be lost With no hope all I was constantly beat down Every day I would fall But then you came along And helped me through my past I couldn't ask for more than you I have a friend at last Friends come and go They're scattered to the wind But you're different than them You, I find strength in I'd walk a thousand miles for you I'd give my last breath away Everything you are to me Is worth more than my dying day I love you more than life itself So much is hard to say If God gave me a precious gift It's you in every way |
||
| © Copyright 1999 PaintGirl - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
merlynh Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 411deer park, wa |
What a nice poem and nice feelings toward a friend. |
||
|
Redzippie Junior Member
since 1999-10-19
Posts 16Michigan |
That was a great poem!! It made my heart melt. I hope that you gave this poem to your friend, because it sounds like she deserves it. Wonderful poem. Keep up the great work. ------------------ ~Christina |
||
|
Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
The rhymes seem forced and I think you should clean up the rhythm a bit but if we see this as a personal poem, those are less important than the theme. Question: How does the person you're writing about know that it is about her? Okay, you have the opening line but how do you make this poem, a poem about her and only her? I write a lot of these myself and one trick I always try to do is find some insignificant moment that the two of us shared, some point that when she reads it, she thinks, I remember this. This, I think, creates a little bit of the magic that people talk about when they refer to poetry. Do you see what I'm trying to get at? Just an opinion, Brad |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||