Critical Analysis #1 |
simplicity |
roxane Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505us |
Simple? In less words than I Might need Perhaps they sound forced Like I force anything I don't mean to be awful Contrary to popular thought I only hoped to please you Though it's apparent that You are not ------------------ "Come night, come darkness, for you cannot come too soon or stay too long in such a place as this." Charles Dickens roxane |
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© Copyright 1999 roxane - All Rights Reserved | |||
rachana.s Member
since 1999-09-16
Posts 55madras,tamil nadu,India |
roxane, you cat, simplicity is it? you got me there. this is kindoff cute - this one sure did please me. looks like you are getting good at this acrostic thing. By the way you got me so curious that I discovered that "Lamentations" in the bible uses this form. No. you are NOT awful and I am pleased. You've caught me fair and square, Over this one count Unable to say word, Ceasefire - I plead to you Apt it was - your reply and Thank you for the class. Roxane have I replied to you just the way you want? Since this is MY first attempt forgive the ameture mistakes rachi |
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roxane Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505us |
Rarely do I Apologize for a Cat-like action Here I find though All my words Never quite there anyways All at once, betrayed me So I tried a little Acrostics really make you think.... to come up with the fitting words and everything.. it's easier said than done... but they are fun |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Well, it seems you guys are having some fun with that form. Keep it up. roxane, I liked this poem. I like this even before I new it was an acrostic (I missed it completely the first time around. We all miss some things some of the time. That's why I think we need a forum like this.) For me, this a personal monologue that sounds true to me ear. It sounds like someone was called simplistic or naive and is responding either internally or at that moment to the other speaker. I think the style works well with the theme (not just the first letters). Particularly liked: Perhaps they sound forced Like I'd force anything I would add some punctuation to make it easier on the reader to get the 'flow' of the piece but, stil, truly enjoyed it. But wait 'till I get to 'love' Brad |
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rachana.s Member
since 1999-09-16
Posts 55madras,tamil nadu,India |
roxane, Betray you they sure did, Every word you said. What exactly bewitched me I know not, still, I'll let you know - I'm impressed. Tell me no sorry's ever. 'Cause Cattiness comes freely to few. Hold it - it's one of those dear parts of you. Engaged in this triad of fun, Dare I tell you I don't want this to end. brad, I'm sure having fun. if you take a look at roxane's post of "one breath" you'd get the train of this conversation. I asked her to use simple words in her acrostic and here's her reply. lol rachi |
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roxane Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505us |
Although we're enjoying these Caustic little retorts Remember that simplicity Overall is still forced Sigh, to write effortlessly Though it wouldn't mean as much I'd like to write one Certain not of its purpose let's hear another one rachana |
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roxane Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505us |
oops i clicked twice vaulting this game to the top again even though it was a mistake really i don't regret it zig-zagging through a tangle of words eventually coming up with one and even taking the opportunity to lose myself in another on top of the previous unfair it is not to wait for a reply see, it WAS a mistake and all had to do it, sorry [This message has been edited by roxane (edited 10-05-1999).] |
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rachana.s Member
since 1999-09-16
Posts 55madras,tamil nadu,India |
Simplicity - dear, I mean not in thought, In just the expression you've got. Most times with complicated words, Poets do so much spoil the verse. Little do they understand In other's perception it has a hand. Cat, I do not mean this for you - I know you are commited to your verses true. The reason I ever mentioned this - Your "one breath" to me was a little amiss. And roxane, I told you that you need never apologise. you are very welcome. rachi |
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