Critical Analysis #1 |
In the Park |
Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Today I strolled around the park at noon, I mourned the loss of friends that I had known. I always loved the fiery skies of June- December’s snows mean walking all alone. I mourned the loss of friends that I had known- I noticed how the trees had lost their green. December’s snows mean walking all alone; My life reflects the bleakness of the scene. I noticed how the trees had lost their green; I shivered at the keening of the wind. My life reflects the bleakness of the scene; I wondered at the hurts that God can send. I shivered at the keening of the wind; I shuddered at the weakness I display. I wondered at the hurts that God can send; And underneath my breath began to pray. I shuddered at the weakness I display, A love lost and a heartache, that is all- And underneath my breath began to pray. I’m shamed the way I’ve answered hardship’s call. A love lost and a heartache, that is all- It’s wondrous that I once had love to hold. I’m shamed the way I’ve answered hardship’s call- The seed of life springs forth from winter’s cold. It’s wondrous that I once had love to hold- Today I strolled around the park at noon. The seed of life springs forth from winter’s cold- I always loved the fiery skies of June. Nan |
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© Copyright 2001 Nancy Wilcox - All Rights Reserved | |||
strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Pilgrimage, this is so so nice. I am trying to think of the style and it escapes me. It is wonderful. It flowed beautifully and I so enjoyed reading it. Is it phantoum? I am not sure, but I love it. Floria |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Dear Floria, Yes, it is supposed to be a pantoum. I hope I got it right. Thank you so much for your kind remarks about it-I know it still needs work, but I thought I'd get some input before doing a revision. Nan |
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