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Critical Analysis #1
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rich-pa
Member
since 2000-02-07
Posts 317
New Orleans, Louisiana

0 posted 2001-12-24 11:23 PM



waking up?
-dang it my head hurts
a tumbleweed of sheets
and flesh...
and flesh!?-
next to me on me around me
that Divine Being
seductively smoking cigarettes?
-wait-what-who are you?
Aphrodite? Shiva?
last night i called you God?
last night...oh...
-that great abyss of thought
-glimpses flashes-
drunken poets crying for Almighty God
and then nothing-
-now here next to you

We went to Heaven
Nirvana-Dharma
Abracadabra-
-oh-by the way
hi my name is-
does it matter? you know
more than my mother
You know more than all-

-get up get out
out of the bed
no more heaven for me-not today
-thank you much it was fun-
yeah-sure
i'll call ya next weekend
you bring truth
i'll bring brandy and cigars
and we can argue then look for
Heaven- ?

© Copyright 2001 rich cooper - All Rights Reserved
Tony Di Bart
Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 160
Toronto, Canada
1 posted 2001-12-25 07:37 PM


Well Mr. Pa or should I call you rich.  

A great peice of poetry.  Some of the punctuations throw me off at first but man was that a great peice of work. I had to have a cigarette after I read the poem.  

Beautiful, simple and evocative.  I can relate to the searching for god and sprituality in the wonderful one night stand.  Then it brings up immense lonliness and the shallowness of the medium of our meditations once it reveals it's self.

Thanks for postings

hush
Senior Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 1653
Ohio, USA
2 posted 2001-12-26 11:52 AM


"Oh god... Oh GOD!"

Lol, I've always laughed at the idea that a skillful movement of the tongue (or whatever, heh heh) can give you diety status, even if it's only in bed. This is really great, I love it. I wouldn't change a thing.

"I'm thinking about leaving tomorrow
I'm thinking about being on my own
I think I been wasting my time
I'm thinking about getting out"

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