i would like some tips, or anything to help me, i am a new poet

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Critical Analysis #1

i would like some tips, or anything to help me, i am a new poet

amerijuanican
Junior Member

since 2001-12-11

Posts 12

0 posted 2001-12-19 04:39 PM

                  X's
X's turned hexes
  In a talk last night
My heart's last tug
  Throw fear, I fight
Will my season so dear
  To which I cling?
This verse-a dirge, in my ear sing

My heart in clutches
  seized less breath
Ill focus lost
  in shadows greive

   My heart this hollow stained red glass
      Your true forgiveness, this I ask

hush
Senior Member

since 2001-05-27

Posts 1653
Ohio, USA

1 posted 2001-12-20 11:28 PM

Try to be a bit clearer. This is a little too cryptic, I found it kind of hard to understand.

I like the "X's" at the beginning- I couldn't help but think of the drug. Interesting choice there.

Just don't try too hard- let it come naturally. Be creative, but make sure you are 100% behind the creativity. I think you have a good start, just let the wording come more naturally.

Hope I've helped.

"we are all citizens of the womb before we subdivide
into shades and sexes- this side, that side" -Ani DiFranco

strbbux
Member Elite

since 2001-12-19

Posts 3859

2 posted 2001-12-21 02:06 PM

I tried to reply to this several times but I just couldnt explain myself so I passed on it, Now after reading what hush has said, I agree completely. I didnt care for the x's and it seems strained, I think if you relax and let your feelings come through naturally you would have a good poem. strbbux

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