»
Archives
»
Critical Analysis #1
»
Obviously....A Villanelle (I think:))
| Critical Analysis #1 |
|
Obviously....A Villanelle (I think:)) |
|
|
Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
Ok I think, but Im not positive this is the right form. Even if you have no comments on the poems content could someone tell me if I did it right? I know its not that good...but I tried. Oh and I don't particularly like the title, but could think of nothing better. Obviously No light can I see Only corruption How can this be? Is this really me? Simple presumption No light can I see Is this all we'll be? Deadly seduction How can this be? I've never been free Run by corruption No light can I see Hateful society To work we're rushin' How can this be? We're obviously Banned from discussion No light can I see How can this be? Oh also, I'm wondering if I got my point at all across in this format...if you could tell me what your interpretation is of this poem, I'd appreciate it. Thanks. ------------------ "Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage." -Billy Corgan- [This message has been edited by Systematic Decay (edited 09-29-1999).] |
||
| © Copyright 1999 Systematic Decay - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
Well, the rhyme/repetition structure is correct for a villanelle; I can't really give you any advice on meter cause I haven't been able to find anything that says whether these little boogers have to be written in iambic pentameter or anything ... it might be just that you must choose a constant meter ... Nan..?  As far as an interpretation, I read powerlessness here ... a lack of control over one's own destiny ... course I am hardly a literature major, so if I am way off in left field, blame it on science ... LOL A Valiant effort, milady, I commend you. Nocht ------------------ "Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, morierus" (Now as I hear this bell tolling softly for another, it says to me, "Thou must die.") [This message has been edited by Nochtdraco (edited 09-30-1999).] |
||
|
Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Some additions: A villanelle should always be metered because of the rhyme (it can, however, be loosely metered because you get all that help from the repetition). I've written a villanelle without a strong meter; rules are made to be broken The form is correct. I think the problem, however, is line length. SD, your lines are so short that you draw attention to the form itself (which may have been what you wanted) and a reader forgets the content. A form poem, in my opinion, really shouldn't be seen for its form but for how that form enhances the poem. Even if someone doesn't know what a villanelle is, they should be able to enjoy it anyway. The form works, not because it's a form, but because the repetition and the rhyme create a feel that many of us fine fantastic (okay,okay, the villanelle is my favorite form poem to read -- and that includes sonnets). As a general guide, the more subtle the form presents itself to the reader, the better. Brad |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||