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Critical Analysis #1
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Deep Regret
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Deep Regret |
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rogen of the night Junior Member
since 1999-09-07
Posts 29 |
Lies::Your way of life Pain::The only thing you leave behind Love::You'll never find it Regret::Regret the day i first saw your face I give you love,you bring me pain I lift you up,you bring me down I try to speak,you walk away The only thing I can feel is regret. Lust::I wanted you Sex::Now I see it wasn't worth it trust::I was a fool to trust you Regret::I just want to forget your name I give you love,you bring me pain I lift you up,you bring me down I try to speak,you walk away The only thing I can feel is regret. Fake::I stepped in your trap Thief::You stole my heart then you threw it away. ((comments please,i don't realy know why i chose to right this the way i did its just how i was feeling inside and thats how it came out)) ------------------ The wise man is the storm prays God,not for safety from danger,but for deliverance from fear.It is the storm within which endangers him,not the storm without. ~~Ralh Waldo Emerson~~ |
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| © Copyright 1999 rogen of the night - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Iloveit Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121NM |
well the format is certainly different, takes a bit of reading but the sentiment comes across well....not sure, will think about this one and reply again ok? |
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Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
Personally I enjoyed the poem......It was written in a way where it could easily become a song...... I'm thinking perhaps you could write a preliminary verse to tell about why you fell for the person in the first place, for I can't fathom anybody even lusting someone they apparently despise, judging by the poems overall vibe. and in this verse, or in a second verse, write how this person betrayed you. I thought the format was good and the rythm good, but it was like starting a movie half way through. ------------------ "Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage." -Billy Corgan- |
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rogen of the night Junior Member
since 1999-09-07
Posts 29 |
Thank you all.I've thought about adding to it to tell why I fell for someone i can't stand but i haven't found the right words as of yet to show it.But i will be adding to it as soon as i can find the words. ------------------ The wise man is the storm prays God,not for safety from danger,but for deliverance from fear.It is the storm within which endangers him,not the storm without. ~~Ralh Waldo Emerson~~ |
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