»
Archives
»
Critical Analysis #1
»
Untitled
| Critical Analysis #1 |
|
Untitled |
|
|
starryeyed999 Junior Member
since 2001-03-05
Posts 35 |
You and Her are together, Say your're gonna last forever I don't think you're gonna make it Oh no, I don't think you really mean it. You have more feelings for me We broke up, but that doesn't mean we aren't meant to be. We know the couple we made Was never here to stay. But maybe one day, You'll leave her for me. Someday it'll last, One day we can try again But today you're wasting your time with her. Why oh why does it hurt so bad. I wish I never had to let you go I wonder what things would be If you were here with me. Maybe you'll get a clue, She's not good for you! |
||
| © Copyright 2001 starryeyed999 - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
roxane Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505us |
hi i think this poem has a lot of potential because it is a jumble of feelings and emotions, self-doubt, sadness. the best way to give your poem more power is to harness all the energy of these emotions and put them into one theme. basically the only encouragement i can offer is to take one aspect of this relationship situation and expound and expound upon it. what hurts you the most? what gives you the most hope? then you have your theme. then i would suggest finding a metaphor, similie or dominant image to convey this message. example (horribly trite, brace yourself): my love for you is like the moon, always changing, always constant... you get the picture. this will make your reader be more able to FEEL what you are saying instead of just reading it. good luck on this one. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
