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Critical Analysis #1
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VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon

0 posted 2001-03-20 01:01 AM


I'm probably bringing this in too soon as as I was writing it I was becoming extremely sleepy...which is what inspired it in the first place. Now I've come too sleepy to bring closure to the last stanza. Now I don't want it written for me, just some ideas. What do you think, poet friends?


as sleep tries to pull me down
to perhaps a crashing blow
teetering on the brink
fog fills my mind to a sense of great unknow

the blackness of the room
just beyond computer’s glow
echos scratchy sounds
my nerves it takes in tow

a faint and fuzzy image
looks back at me, my plight,
recalling all she bore for me
as she stepped into the night

secretly she watches
a spy on raven’s wings
from without she plots a course

© Copyright 2001 Virginia Salter - All Rights Reserved
S Arthur Grey
Senior Member
since 2001-03-19
Posts 719
woven by a poet's loom
1 posted 2001-03-20 05:39 PM


VAS

Clearly, or "fuzzily" by your word, you were, in fact, headed for your dream world, that wonderous mystery place of REM hyperassociation. That is where the poem was headed as well. Continue to take it there, although you might have to put yourself back into a like condition in order to accomplish anything. Difficult to get back there, by my experience. Good luck with it.

G Arthur

Whose Night is this, Mine or the Moon's?
J.E.James

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