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Critical Analysis #1

no name..

SunShine913

Member

since 2001-08-19

Posts 211
Italy but from NC

0 posted 2001-08-29 07:08 PM

Imagine two people
two short steps away
from an embrace...

   what yearns between us
    just under surface
     overflows in a gentle way
   our hesitation in evident
    yet the wanting
     pleasurably washes over us
   it seems we must be content
    to embrace each other
     with our eyes and minds
   yet, what a joy it has been
    to share this gift
     of holding one another visually

           ...I hope when I take
              my short forward step
              you, too, will take yours

!~Andrea~!
*You only live once, so live it to the
fullest*
*what is love?*

b4dawn
New Member

since 2001-08-30

Posts 7

1 posted 2001-08-30 09:15 AM

Andrea
Love your poem, very romantic and original. Haven't we all experienced it sometime and still feel that wonderful flutter in our chest remembering the one who didn't take that short step forward? Maybe "Two Steps Forward" would be a good title for this poem?
Enjoy Italy, I am from Jacksonville NC

[This message has been edited by b4dawn (edited 08-30-2001).]

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

2 posted 2001-08-30 09:37 PM

Basically agree with B4dawn here, my friend, tho I'd like to see you stay in the third person...I think you could make quite a beauty of this that way.

jwesley

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